Yeah... I'm Kind of Crap At This Whole 'Blogging' Thing

So I apologize to anyone who reads my blog, because it has been a week and a half, almost a fortnight, and I haven't posted a thing.  So.  Here is me, apologizing.  To make up for it I will post adorable pictures of seals, and maybe a picture of me.  O.O

Here is me, being sad.  But instead of me, you have a sad seal.  A very sad, adorable seal who is very very sorry for not posting.

Here is me, happy that maybe some of you will care.  Happy seal is happy.  How can you say no to a face like that.  Oh my god, I just want to snorgle it and love it forever and ever.
Yeah, I said snorgle.  Deal with it.
Many things have happened in the week and a half that I didn't talk to all y'all.
Not really, I just wanted to type that sentence.  Don't judge me.
I am on vacation now, so, I have time to lounge around and do nothing.  Which is false, because right now I am in the midst of planning a novel.  I love how inspiration for a novel doesn't come during November.  I could have won NaNoWriMo.  But noooo, my brain has to get creative four months after.
Truth be told, I am really okay with this.  I really like the idea I have right now and I want to make it the best that I can.  I am actually combining my new idea with an idea that I had years ago.  So long ago that the character names are written on my desk.  But I'm not stealing the characters.  Just the idea.  The characters weren't fleshed out.  The idea was pretty good though.

Here is another picture. I feel obligated to post them to keep you guys reading, since I'm being a boring old fart today.
Everytime I look at that photo, I die laughing.  This is me, as a ghost, typing to you.  I want to write more, but nothing interesting has happened to me as of late, but that could change.  Keep in touch ya crazy kids.
One more picture, for good measure.

Get it? Moustache, must dash?

I fail.

Anyfloozle, I love all of you to bits and pieces, which I will then consume to get closer to your love.  Anomanomanomanom.

Love and kisses,

L.

EEEK YOU GUYS I AM SO EXCITED I FORGOT HOW TO UNDO THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON!!!

But no worries, I fixed it.

I am sooper dooper excited y'all.  I'm so pumped.  Like stoq'd!

It's ridicky donkey.

I had opening night of my play tonight!  It went amazingly.  Honestly.  I've never been prouder of my
drama club. We did so well.  It was fantasticisimus!

The play is Anything Goes, and if I do say so myself, we do an amazing-tastic job at being these characters.  I play a drunk French person.  That is literally my role.  I am drunk, and I am French.  My mom thought that I was hilarious, which means a lot coming from her.  I mean, she's my mom.  I like it when she is proud of me.  I have so much nervous energy right now.  It is ridiculous. 

Honestly.
I couldn't love my cast and crew more.  After hanging out with them nearly every day for four months, you can't help but being a big family. It just happens naturally.  I love each and every one of them and they all know it because I hug every single one of them.  Every single day.

SO MUCH ENERGY!!!

Oh, and I'm feeling much better, for those of you who care.  I still have a cough, but hey, everyone is coughing. I am not coughing in solidarity.  I am coughing in a coughing barbershop quartet.  I cough alto.  I took that way too far.

I'll report back soon about everything else that happens.  It'll be a blast.

OH, one funny awkward story to tell.  So you know that guy that I moaned about a few posts ago?  Well, I was talking to him today before the show (he's in crew) and I was laughing and walking away after making a joke at his expense (the only way to make jokes) and I had one of the costume ladies tell me explicitly, while laughing "He's much too young for you."

I nearly died of embarassment.  I had to go hide in the dressing room and laugh quietly to myself for a while.

I have to go to sleep because it is midnight and I still have school tomorrow.  So I love you all and I'll talk to all y'all soon!

I am too tired to tell a joke, but I promise I have a good one lined up.

Love and kisses,

L.

A Realization In The Shower

And no, that wasn't a ploy to get you all to think of my washing my hair, but you are all now thinking of that, aren't you?  I am a diabolical mastermind.

Anyway, as I was realizing that one of my second toes is longer than my big toe, but the other one isn't, I had a realization.

Most of the people on YouTube are all Liberal Arts majors that have happened or are waiting to happen.  The makes me fear greatly for my job in the future, because I am in now way, shape, or form, as talented as them.

This makes me feel kind of insignificant.

Oh, the existential thoughts I think in the tub at 6:00 in the morning.

God, I hate talented people.

Ah, well, Tararara!

Love and kisses,

L.

MORE LINKS TO CLICK!!! CLICK THEM CLICK THEM CLICK THEM!!!!

You know how I wrote that thing about glee give a note?

And how if you clicked the link I would give you a place in my government when I take over the world?  Something like that?

Yeah, that still applies.

CLICKY THE LINKY!

CLICK ME I'M A LINK!

But in addition to helping my school win some cashola for music, and you all know how important music is, I'm giving you lovelypoos another link to click.  And you will hear the sound of my voice for possibly the first time.  Grab onto your socks, pants, hats, anything that could be blown off, because I am about to BLOW YOUR MIND.

Click this and follow the sound of my voice.

I appear at I think around the 1 minute mark.  Be forewarned - I was not told that I would be used for filming that day, so I'm wearing no makeup and my acorn hat.  You will see why I call it an acorn hat if you click the link.  You will also see that I'm really bad at improvising. 

But I thought you might enjoy this.  My school is quite hilarious.  I'm proud to be part of the band! Even if we are clumsy.   You will get it if you click the link!  Promise!

That's right.

I'm in the band!

Love and kisses,

L.

P.S. That thing about the squirrel?  Not a lie.  If you click the link, you will know what I'm talking about!

P.P.S.  The pads bit made my think of sanitary pads.  It was awkward, because it is funny, and if you think of that, it makes it funnier.  CLICKTHELINKIFYOUWANTTOKNOWWHATIMTALKINGABOUT!!!!

P.P.S.  I really want you to click the link, can you tell?  Because 1.  I want you to like my school and vote for us for the glee thing, and 2. I want you to see that I'm an awkward awkwarder who likes to awkward and that I'm wearing a hat.  And that I exist.  So, click the links, yeah?

The Most Pretentious Thing I Have Ever Seen, Ever

So (I always start my stories off with so.  Does anyone else do this?  Is it just me?  I need to end this habit.  No more so for me.  I need a better starting word.)

Lackaday (Nope, not working.  Say it with me kiddywinks - I am not a pretentious asshole, I am not a pretentious asshole, I am not a pretentious asshole.  Saying it three times makes it true.)

Anyway (No, L., ya moron, anyway is used when continuing a story.  And you want to be an author and/or teach English.  Shame shame shame on you!)

The craziest thing happened to me (Not only is that phrase not true, you again sound like a pretentious asshole.)

(Fuck it, I'm sticking with So)

So today I was at the library after school, which is where I usually am because A.  I love libraries, B. It is convenient because it is a three minute walk from my school to my town's library and C.  I'm just a nerd and I hang out at libraries.  DON'T YOU JUDGE ME, FERDINAND!  I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH THAT SWAN, YA FLOOZY!

Where was I?  Oh yes.

I was in the library and I was browsing through the classical music CDs because, again (as if it already hasn't been established by now), I'm a nerd.  As I was browsing through the CDs, I came across one with the title 'The Only Beethoven CD You Will Ever Need'.  And I thought that that was pretentious as fuck.

Am I weird to think that?

Yes?

No?

Does anyone else feel like that is just way off base?  Like what if I don't agree?  What then?  Do I complain?  Do I lie and hide my true feelings from the world?  What then, fooligans, what then?


So am I the only one?  Or am I not alone in thinking that there are probably other Beethoven CDs that one needs to purchase? 


Let me know what you think.  I need feedback on this.


Parting joke:

Snake 1:  Aw, shit, I hope I'm not poisonous!
Snake 2:  Well, why would you hope that?
Snake 3:  I just bit my tongue.


And on that note (haha, note.  This entire post has been about leaving notes in parentheses while trying to disguise itself as a post about a musician, where notes also apply.  I'm not funny at all, am I?)


I'm done.


Love and kisses,

L.

P.S.  I'm finally being challenged in school because I'm reading primary source documents from the fucking 1700s and all anyone in my family can do is laugh because they've all been waiting for this day.  Eagerly.  What a pack of rabid despair-mongers.  Not to say I don't love my family because I do.  But if there is one thing I can say about them, it is that they are absolutely mental.

And as for primary source documents from the 1700s... Well, if there is one thing I can say, it is that no one back then knew how to get to the fucking point.  Circumlocuting all over the place, these blokes were.  If there is one thing in the world that I can say about writers of any kind today, it is that they can at least get to the fucking point.  Maybe I'm not included in this, but whatever.  On the most part.  At least it isn't

BUT since the wise and righteous governor of the universe, has permitted our fellow men
to make us slaves, we bow in submission to him, and determine to behave in such a
manner, as that we may have reason to expect the divine approbation of, and assistance
in, our peaceable and lawful attempts to gain our freedom.
No copyright infringement intended.  Though I don't know if it is copyright.  Might be something else.

Anyway, I'm done.  That was my little rant on how I absolutely hate history.  WITH A PASSION, MIND YOU ALL.

I have to go kill myself now,

Love and kisses,

L.

I Feel So Wonderful Right Now

And I really do.  I really truly do.  Mentally.  Physically I've had a headache the size of Kansas all day, and psychologically I feel inferior to the huge pile of winter clothing that is sitting on my floor, glaring at me.  Well, not glaring, since it is just a pile of clothing and therefore doesn't have eyes with which to glare at me.  MOVING ON!

One reason I'm feeling so happy is that I've found a new comedian to love.  His name is Russell Howard and he is BLOODY HILARIOUS.  And British.  Which just makes him awesome.  Case in point, click here.  LAUGH HYSTERICALLY.  "I said no such thing."  What a genius.  Where did I find this guy?  BBC America.  Because I am a loser and I watched TV last night until midnight, watching this comedy show.  And thank God I did, or I'd have missed this guy.  And he's hilarious.  For real.  Click my link.  You know you want to. *Seductive face.*  Oh god, that was so intentionally dirty.  And in related news, in the same TV show, I saw Danny Bhoy, who is a Scottish comedian who is hilarious as well.  I don't have any links for him. But you should look him up.  He's quite funny.

Another reason I'm so happy is that I have ice on my head.  In a lovely little ice-pack called Betty.  Have I mentioned Betty?  (I literally just checked my old blog posts for ten minutes trying to find Betty and I couldn't.  So, I've apparently never mentioned her.) Betty is my ice pack.  She is lovely.  And cold.

Another reason I'm happy is that I've finally eaten.  It was a homemade mashed potatoes, corn and popcorn chicken.  With cranberry sauce!  Nomnomnom.  Now I'm not starving to death.


Another reason is that I realized that my father is a hipster.  He drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon.  It explains all of my hipster tendencies.


And the last reason I'm feeling wonderful is that I've jumped from 19 followers to 28 followers in a week.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR FOLLOWING!!!!


Parting joke:

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Amy!
Amy who?
Amy fraid this is the wrong house!  I don't know you, either!

Love and kisses,

L.

I Was Just Checking My Stats...

...And I decided, hey, for shits and giggles, I would look at my all time statistics.


I nearly fell out of my chair.


I don't know if the falling was out of shock, awe, or my general lack of being able to balance my body to the point where I flop about like a newborn and require someone or something to support my head at all times lest I cause some brain damage or something.


Anyway, guess which post has the most views of all time, at SEVEN FREAKING HUNDRED PAGE VIEWS???


The Top Ten Guys I Would Screw, No Questions Asked!

Is that all I am to you guys? Just a random top ten guys, who admittedly are hot, but is that all I am????

Tears.

Maybe it was the fact that I had so many pictures, and a ton of labels. Hmaybe.

Oh, and for those of you wondering, my next highest viewed post was Thoughts, which was a post literally dedicated to my obsession with one-liners.

It had 17 views.

HOLY MOTHER OF FREAKING PEARL, YOU GUYS!!!!!

Anyway, now that that is off my chest, I feel like to up my viewings, I should do another top ten list of guys.

Crazy thought, brain, what was that post that you were working on but have yet to finish because you are a lazy little buttmunch who decided to literally do nothing all day today?

Oh, yeah. My Favorite Celebrity Faces.

It's like my subconscious is trying to tell me something subconsciously you guys.

OOoooooOOOOoooooOOOOO. *to be said in a freaky voice OOOoooOOO*

I need to go to bed. My brain cannot handle life right now.

Goodbye cruel world. Sleep is the only solace for my solipsism. I highly doubt that last sentence made any sense.

Parting joke:

What's a shark's favorite drug?

Reefer!

I need psychiatric help.

Big, sopping wet kisses to all ya fooligans!

Nighty Night,

L.