I am very tired, so this is going to be really short. This BEDA thing is hard shit, you know? I have so much stuff to do, and so little time to do it.
So yeah.
I fell asleep at 8 o'clock on a Thursday. That is unheard of. And I only woke up to pee just now before I remembered I had to blog. Well, not had to, more ought to. Either way, here I am.
I killed a spider last night in the most violent way possible. I swear to God the thing looked like a Black Widow; it had the right spots along the back and it looked like it had an hourglass on the belly. I panicked and killed the thing with my math textbook. I figured that I had the right to kill it. One, I'm a severe arachnophobe and two, the freaking thing was HUGE. And it wouldn't die. I had to smash it eight times before it finally gave up and died. Now I'm vacuuming every crevice of my room. I don't want any spider infestations and spiders like that usually have egg sacs that I'm not willing to have open in my room.
I wrote more than I thought I would. Gold star for me!
Well, I'm off to bed again. Nighty nighty.
Love and kisses,
Jen
Showing posts with label Sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sleep. Show all posts
Friday, April 20, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
EEEK YOU GUYS I AM SO EXCITED I FORGOT HOW TO UNDO THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON!!!
But no worries, I fixed it.
I am sooper dooper excited y'all. I'm so pumped. Like stoq'd!
It's ridicky donkey.
I had opening night of my play tonight! It went amazingly. Honestly. I've never been prouder of my
drama club. We did so well. It was fantasticisimus!
The play is Anything Goes, and if I do say so myself, we do an amazing-tastic job at being these characters. I play a drunk French person. That is literally my role. I am drunk, and I am French. My mom thought that I was hilarious, which means a lot coming from her. I mean, she's my mom. I like it when she is proud of me. I have so much nervous energy right now. It is ridiculous.
Honestly.
I couldn't love my cast and crew more. After hanging out with them nearly every day for four months, you can't help but being a big family. It just happens naturally. I love each and every one of them and they all know it because I hug every single one of them. Every single day.
SO MUCH ENERGY!!!
Oh, and I'm feeling much better, for those of you who care. I still have a cough, but hey, everyone is coughing. I am not coughing in solidarity. I am coughing in a coughing barbershop quartet. I cough alto. I took that way too far.
I'll report back soon about everything else that happens. It'll be a blast.
OH, one funny awkward story to tell. So you know that guy that I moaned about a few posts ago? Well, I was talking to him today before the show (he's in crew) and I was laughing and walking away after making a joke at his expense (the only way to make jokes) and I had one of the costume ladies tell me explicitly, while laughing "He's much too young for you."
I nearly died of embarassment. I had to go hide in the dressing room and laugh quietly to myself for a while.
I have to go to sleep because it is midnight and I still have school tomorrow. So I love you all and I'll talk to all y'all soon!
I am too tired to tell a joke, but I promise I have a good one lined up.
Love and kisses,
L.
I am sooper dooper excited y'all. I'm so pumped. Like stoq'd!
It's ridicky donkey.
I had opening night of my play tonight! It went amazingly. Honestly. I've never been prouder of my
drama club. We did so well. It was fantasticisimus!
The play is Anything Goes, and if I do say so myself, we do an amazing-tastic job at being these characters. I play a drunk French person. That is literally my role. I am drunk, and I am French. My mom thought that I was hilarious, which means a lot coming from her. I mean, she's my mom. I like it when she is proud of me. I have so much nervous energy right now. It is ridiculous.
Honestly.
I couldn't love my cast and crew more. After hanging out with them nearly every day for four months, you can't help but being a big family. It just happens naturally. I love each and every one of them and they all know it because I hug every single one of them. Every single day.
SO MUCH ENERGY!!!
Oh, and I'm feeling much better, for those of you who care. I still have a cough, but hey, everyone is coughing. I am not coughing in solidarity. I am coughing in a coughing barbershop quartet. I cough alto. I took that way too far.
I'll report back soon about everything else that happens. It'll be a blast.
OH, one funny awkward story to tell. So you know that guy that I moaned about a few posts ago? Well, I was talking to him today before the show (he's in crew) and I was laughing and walking away after making a joke at his expense (the only way to make jokes) and I had one of the costume ladies tell me explicitly, while laughing "He's much too young for you."
I nearly died of embarassment. I had to go hide in the dressing room and laugh quietly to myself for a while.
I have to go to sleep because it is midnight and I still have school tomorrow. So I love you all and I'll talk to all y'all soon!
I am too tired to tell a joke, but I promise I have a good one lined up.
Love and kisses,
L.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Just Call Me Myrtle, Because I Am About To Moan...
Clever title, right? I'm full of hilariosity. Honestly, I don't know how I live with myself.
But today isn't going to be all sunshine and roses and me being hilarious and bringing humor into your lives like a humor-bringing thing.
No. Today I'm going to moan.
If you don't like moaning, the exit is, quite literally, the X at the right or left of your screen, depending on the brand of computer you have.
Ready? Are they gone?
....
Good. If they are gone, I don't love them nearly as much as I love you all. Honestly. I love you all much more than them. Muchos kisses mi smallus amigos. (And I say that I'm in Spanish 3. What a laugh and a half.)
So let me tell you my story.
I have this issue where I was all high and mighty and didn't like anyone 'like that' for I want to say four years, which coming from a teenage girl, is like saying I've been a virgin lesbian monk for 79 years and that I have a beard and a moustache and I live in a cave in the Himalayas.
....
Obviously none of that is true, besides the bit about me not liking anyone for four years. But that is what I'm trying to get at. I haven't liked anyone for four years, which is nuts. My friends liked guys and fell out of like with guys and I was like their proverbial rock in the storm. They clung to my apparent freakish non-normal self because I had a clear head. That is clearly a lie, but I apparently offered the best advice on relationships, which is hilarious and ironic because I've never been in one. A relationship that is. Saying that I was going out with a guy for fifteen minutes in the sixth grade doesn't count.
Anyfloozle, this year I met a guy. Shocking beginning to the tale, I know. Like I said, I'm not a lesbian monk. But I met a guy. And he is really, really cool. And I guess it is a good thing he doesn't know that I have a blog, because then he would find this and he would know it was about him. And he would get a big inflated head and that is the last thing that I would want to happen. It's already inflated enough. But that's one of the reasons I like him, odd as that may sound.
I met him talking at a marching band parade. The first conversation we ever had we talked about how me and my friend Elliese have penis envy and we want to have one for one day only for the sole purpose of writing our names in the snow. This, ladies and germs, is what me and my friends think about. But he was funny. And we got to talking more. And, the blossom of LUUUURRRVVVE began to grow.
But then, the pruning sheers of horrible comments appeared. He said that he was like my brother. And I was all 'Suuuurrrreee!' and I said it with that horrible fake smile that feels like it has been plastered onto your face.
Then the flirting started. And there was a lot of it. I knew he was flirting with a lot of other girls, but me being vair vair pathetico, I thought I was different. So I kind of told him that I liked him. And then things left the Valley of the Casually Okay and entered the Mountains of the Majestically Awkward. We didn't talk for about a week and a half. Which, for those of you who don't know, is about seven years in teenage girl time.
So I wrote him a note like the romance novel heroine that I am and now we're friends again. But he's trying not to flirt with people anymore. Which sucks because I love hugging people. (I love hugging people. I love hugs. I will literally hug anyone. I don't care if I haven't known you that long, I will hug you.) And in trying not to flirt with people he's moaning to me about it.
And now I'm moaning to you. It's like the big circle of MOAN.
Or a pyramid of moan, since you can't moan to him about me moaning about him. Or if you can, please don't!
....
Wait, I didn't tell you his name, and as far as I know, none of you know him, so I'm in the free and clear!
Woopdedoo and PANTS!
Okay, moaning/storytime over. I just used all of you like a diary. Keep these secrets I have told you until you are cold and in the grave. And like Andrew Marvill said, you can't date in the grave. Or, well, Marvill didn't say that. He implied it though. I had my English midterm today - can you tell?
I feel like I've wittered on enough, like a wittering thing meant to witter away. I'll let you get back to your lives. They are probably much more interesting than mine.
Parting joke:
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first guy says to the bartender "Hey, I'll have some H2O!" The second guy goes "That sounds good. I'll have some H2O2."
The second guy died.
Love and kisses,
Jen
But today isn't going to be all sunshine and roses and me being hilarious and bringing humor into your lives like a humor-bringing thing.
No. Today I'm going to moan.
If you don't like moaning, the exit is, quite literally, the X at the right or left of your screen, depending on the brand of computer you have.
Ready? Are they gone?
....
Good. If they are gone, I don't love them nearly as much as I love you all. Honestly. I love you all much more than them. Muchos kisses mi smallus amigos. (And I say that I'm in Spanish 3. What a laugh and a half.)
So let me tell you my story.
I have this issue where I was all high and mighty and didn't like anyone 'like that' for I want to say four years, which coming from a teenage girl, is like saying I've been a virgin lesbian monk for 79 years and that I have a beard and a moustache and I live in a cave in the Himalayas.
....
Obviously none of that is true, besides the bit about me not liking anyone for four years. But that is what I'm trying to get at. I haven't liked anyone for four years, which is nuts. My friends liked guys and fell out of like with guys and I was like their proverbial rock in the storm. They clung to my apparent freakish non-normal self because I had a clear head. That is clearly a lie, but I apparently offered the best advice on relationships, which is hilarious and ironic because I've never been in one. A relationship that is. Saying that I was going out with a guy for fifteen minutes in the sixth grade doesn't count.
Anyfloozle, this year I met a guy. Shocking beginning to the tale, I know. Like I said, I'm not a lesbian monk. But I met a guy. And he is really, really cool. And I guess it is a good thing he doesn't know that I have a blog, because then he would find this and he would know it was about him. And he would get a big inflated head and that is the last thing that I would want to happen. It's already inflated enough. But that's one of the reasons I like him, odd as that may sound.
I met him talking at a marching band parade. The first conversation we ever had we talked about how me and my friend Elliese have penis envy and we want to have one for one day only for the sole purpose of writing our names in the snow. This, ladies and germs, is what me and my friends think about. But he was funny. And we got to talking more. And, the blossom of LUUUURRRVVVE began to grow.
But then, the pruning sheers of horrible comments appeared. He said that he was like my brother. And I was all 'Suuuurrrreee!' and I said it with that horrible fake smile that feels like it has been plastered onto your face.
Then the flirting started. And there was a lot of it. I knew he was flirting with a lot of other girls, but me being vair vair pathetico, I thought I was different. So I kind of told him that I liked him. And then things left the Valley of the Casually Okay and entered the Mountains of the Majestically Awkward. We didn't talk for about a week and a half. Which, for those of you who don't know, is about seven years in teenage girl time.
So I wrote him a note like the romance novel heroine that I am and now we're friends again. But he's trying not to flirt with people anymore. Which sucks because I love hugging people. (I love hugging people. I love hugs. I will literally hug anyone. I don't care if I haven't known you that long, I will hug you.) And in trying not to flirt with people he's moaning to me about it.
And now I'm moaning to you. It's like the big circle of MOAN.
Or a pyramid of moan, since you can't moan to him about me moaning about him. Or if you can, please don't!
....
Wait, I didn't tell you his name, and as far as I know, none of you know him, so I'm in the free and clear!
Woopdedoo and PANTS!
Okay, moaning/storytime over. I just used all of you like a diary. Keep these secrets I have told you until you are cold and in the grave. And like Andrew Marvill said, you can't date in the grave. Or, well, Marvill didn't say that. He implied it though. I had my English midterm today - can you tell?
I feel like I've wittered on enough, like a wittering thing meant to witter away. I'll let you get back to your lives. They are probably much more interesting than mine.
Parting joke:
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first guy says to the bartender "Hey, I'll have some H2O!" The second guy goes "That sounds good. I'll have some H2O2."
The second guy died.
Love and kisses,
Jen
Monday, November 7, 2011
A Realization In The Shower
And no, that wasn't a ploy to get you all to think of my washing my hair, but you are all now thinking of that, aren't you? I am a diabolical mastermind.
Anyway, as I was realizing that one of my second toes is longer than my big toe, but the other one isn't, I had a realization.
Most of the people on YouTube are all Liberal Arts majors that have happened or are waiting to happen. The makes me fear greatly for my job in the future, because I am in now way, shape, or form, as talented as them.
This makes me feel kind of insignificant.
Oh, the existential thoughts I think in the tub at 6:00 in the morning.
God, I hate talented people.
Ah, well, Tararara!
Love and kisses,
L.
Anyway, as I was realizing that one of my second toes is longer than my big toe, but the other one isn't, I had a realization.
Most of the people on YouTube are all Liberal Arts majors that have happened or are waiting to happen. The makes me fear greatly for my job in the future, because I am in now way, shape, or form, as talented as them.
This makes me feel kind of insignificant.
Oh, the existential thoughts I think in the tub at 6:00 in the morning.
God, I hate talented people.
Ah, well, Tararara!
Love and kisses,
L.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Life Is An STD That Is Always Fatal
Lovelypoos! I'm back! I'm not dead! I didn't fall off the face of the earth! I wasn't eaten by rabid walruses! I just had a really big history project due, and that took up all of my time. It won't happen again. Kidding, it probably will happen. All the time. So sorry about that.
I'm going to confess something to you all that I haven't actually confessed out loud, not even when I'm talking to myself.
Prepare yourselves for what may seem like deep-rooted self esteem issues mixed in with some adolescent hormonal moaning. But don't worry; It's just sleep deprivation.
I'm afraid that I'm defective. I know that that sounds awful and terrible, but I do. I have two friends, yes? I have them in most of my classes, and during PE we sit in the corner of the gymnasium on the mats and talk about stuff (yes, for all of you who are wondering, I'm passing this class with an A, thank you very much). Mostly the stuff we talk about is boys, because we are girls.
Now my two friends, both of them openly have crushes on boys, I guess is the way to put it. Both of them have had multiple boyfriends and they both get boys to like them really easily.
Here is where I feel like I'm defective. I can't get a guy to like me. Like ever. I've had a grand total of one boyfriend, and that was for fifteen minutes in the sixth grade. I've never been kissed, and I doubt any self-respecting guy has even thought about kissing me, regardless of how horny he was.
And I don't feel a need to always like a guy. I haven't 'had a crush' since sixth grade. At least on anyone attainable. I have 'idea crushes', as in, I love the idea of someone, like a celebrity. Or I get really attached to a voice. Or a character in a book. But not on anyone real. Does that make me defective? Or weird?
I am kind of worried that I'm going to end up lonely and alone because I have trouble making connections with people. I feel like people think that I'm aloof. I guess sometimes I do act like that. It's my own fault. I act aloof and use caustic sarcasm as a way to hide the fact that I have no idea how to act and that I actually am quite shy.
People have said that one of my great qualities is no fear to talk to strangers and a vast knowledge that allows me to relate to anyone. If only they knew.
Okay, so that was deeply personal, I'm so sorry that I just subjected you to that.
I love you all. Seriously.
Parting joke:
Why did the dolphin commit suicide?
Because his life had no porpoise!
Love and kisses,
L.
I'm going to confess something to you all that I haven't actually confessed out loud, not even when I'm talking to myself.
Prepare yourselves for what may seem like deep-rooted self esteem issues mixed in with some adolescent hormonal moaning. But don't worry; It's just sleep deprivation.
I'm afraid that I'm defective. I know that that sounds awful and terrible, but I do. I have two friends, yes? I have them in most of my classes, and during PE we sit in the corner of the gymnasium on the mats and talk about stuff (yes, for all of you who are wondering, I'm passing this class with an A, thank you very much). Mostly the stuff we talk about is boys, because we are girls.
Now my two friends, both of them openly have crushes on boys, I guess is the way to put it. Both of them have had multiple boyfriends and they both get boys to like them really easily.
Here is where I feel like I'm defective. I can't get a guy to like me. Like ever. I've had a grand total of one boyfriend, and that was for fifteen minutes in the sixth grade. I've never been kissed, and I doubt any self-respecting guy has even thought about kissing me, regardless of how horny he was.
And I don't feel a need to always like a guy. I haven't 'had a crush' since sixth grade. At least on anyone attainable. I have 'idea crushes', as in, I love the idea of someone, like a celebrity. Or I get really attached to a voice. Or a character in a book. But not on anyone real. Does that make me defective? Or weird?
I am kind of worried that I'm going to end up lonely and alone because I have trouble making connections with people. I feel like people think that I'm aloof. I guess sometimes I do act like that. It's my own fault. I act aloof and use caustic sarcasm as a way to hide the fact that I have no idea how to act and that I actually am quite shy.
People have said that one of my great qualities is no fear to talk to strangers and a vast knowledge that allows me to relate to anyone. If only they knew.
Okay, so that was deeply personal, I'm so sorry that I just subjected you to that.
I love you all. Seriously.
Parting joke:
Why did the dolphin commit suicide?
Because his life had no porpoise!
Love and kisses,
L.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I Was Just Checking My Stats...
...And I decided, hey, for shits and giggles, I would look at my all time statistics.
I nearly fell out of my chair.
I don't know if the falling was out of shock, awe, or my general lack of being able to balance my body to the point where I flop about like a newborn and require someone or something to support my head at all times lest I cause some brain damage or something.
Anyway, guess which post has the most views of all time, at SEVEN FREAKING HUNDRED PAGE VIEWS???
The Top Ten Guys I Would Screw, No Questions Asked!
Is that all I am to you guys? Just a random top ten guys, who admittedly are hot, but is that all I am????
Tears.
Maybe it was the fact that I had so many pictures, and a ton of labels. Hmaybe.
Oh, and for those of you wondering, my next highest viewed post was Thoughts, which was a post literally dedicated to my obsession with one-liners.
It had 17 views.
HOLY MOTHER OF FREAKING PEARL, YOU GUYS!!!!!
Anyway, now that that is off my chest, I feel like to up my viewings, I should do another top ten list of guys.
Crazy thought, brain, what was that post that you were working on but have yet to finish because you are a lazy little buttmunch who decided to literally do nothing all day today?
Oh, yeah. My Favorite Celebrity Faces.
It's like my subconscious is trying to tell me something subconsciously you guys.
OOoooooOOOOoooooOOOOO. *to be said in a freaky voice OOOoooOOO*
I need to go to bed. My brain cannot handle life right now.
Goodbye cruel world. Sleep is the only solace for my solipsism. I highly doubt that last sentence made any sense.
Parting joke:
What's a shark's favorite drug?
Reefer!
I need psychiatric help.
Big, sopping wet kisses to all ya fooligans!
Nighty Night,
L.
I nearly fell out of my chair.
I don't know if the falling was out of shock, awe, or my general lack of being able to balance my body to the point where I flop about like a newborn and require someone or something to support my head at all times lest I cause some brain damage or something.
Anyway, guess which post has the most views of all time, at SEVEN FREAKING HUNDRED PAGE VIEWS???
The Top Ten Guys I Would Screw, No Questions Asked!
Is that all I am to you guys? Just a random top ten guys, who admittedly are hot, but is that all I am????
Tears.
Maybe it was the fact that I had so many pictures, and a ton of labels. Hmaybe.
Oh, and for those of you wondering, my next highest viewed post was Thoughts, which was a post literally dedicated to my obsession with one-liners.
It had 17 views.
HOLY MOTHER OF FREAKING PEARL, YOU GUYS!!!!!
Anyway, now that that is off my chest, I feel like to up my viewings, I should do another top ten list of guys.
Crazy thought, brain, what was that post that you were working on but have yet to finish because you are a lazy little buttmunch who decided to literally do nothing all day today?
Oh, yeah. My Favorite Celebrity Faces.
It's like my subconscious is trying to tell me something subconsciously you guys.
OOoooooOOOOoooooOOOOO. *to be said in a freaky voice OOOoooOOO*
I need to go to bed. My brain cannot handle life right now.
Goodbye cruel world. Sleep is the only solace for my solipsism. I highly doubt that last sentence made any sense.
Parting joke:
What's a shark's favorite drug?
Reefer!
I need psychiatric help.
Big, sopping wet kisses to all ya fooligans!
Nighty Night,
L.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Pi Day
Hey there, I'm the Ramblemeister and welcome to Rambling Zombies. Today we're going to talk about pie, Pi and Albert Einstein.
Cool things about 3/14? Well, for starters, Albert Einstein was born today. Isn't that freaking awesome? I wonder if instead of cake he had pie for his birthday...
I know I would. An excuse to eat pie on days that do not begin with T and end with Hanksgiving? Sign me up.
But also, today was my first day back in school after Daylight Savings Time. So I kind of really don't like...
You know what?
I'm just going to say it.
I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME.
It makes me feel jet lagged. I've never traveled out of my time zone! Me being jet lagged is a temporal anomaly because it can't have technically ever happened. Yet.
Why does it exist? Check out if you're nerdy like me here, for the history in the US, and here for the history of DST around the world.
But because I was so tired, I didn't sleep last night. I remember last checking the clock and it saying 12:15, which means in 24 Hour time that I was awake at 00:15 on 3/14, which makes 3/14/15. Hahaha, I'm a huge geek.
In 2015 I'm having a huge pie bake off on the fourteenth of march. Just you wait. It's going to be legen wait for it! Dary.
Well I've made myself sufficiently hungry. I want pie...
Another thought. Where did Pi come from? I should know this; I'm not in honors math for nothing. Well, if you're like me and want to know, click here for a very detailed Wikipedia on the history of Pi. Or don't. You could just go eat pie and be done with it.
Either way, happy Pi Day, and Happy Would-Be 132th Birthday Mr. Einstein!
Now I'm going to eat some pie.
I am,
Fondly and insanely yours,
The Ramblemeister
Cool things about 3/14? Well, for starters, Albert Einstein was born today. Isn't that freaking awesome? I wonder if instead of cake he had pie for his birthday...
I know I would. An excuse to eat pie on days that do not begin with T and end with Hanksgiving? Sign me up.
But also, today was my first day back in school after Daylight Savings Time. So I kind of really don't like...
You know what?
I'm just going to say it.
I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME.
It makes me feel jet lagged. I've never traveled out of my time zone! Me being jet lagged is a temporal anomaly because it can't have technically ever happened. Yet.
Why does it exist? Check out if you're nerdy like me here, for the history in the US, and here for the history of DST around the world.
But because I was so tired, I didn't sleep last night. I remember last checking the clock and it saying 12:15, which means in 24 Hour time that I was awake at 00:15 on 3/14, which makes 3/14/15. Hahaha, I'm a huge geek.
In 2015 I'm having a huge pie bake off on the fourteenth of march. Just you wait. It's going to be legen wait for it! Dary.
Well I've made myself sufficiently hungry. I want pie...
Another thought. Where did Pi come from? I should know this; I'm not in honors math for nothing. Well, if you're like me and want to know, click here for a very detailed Wikipedia on the history of Pi. Or don't. You could just go eat pie and be done with it.
Either way, happy Pi Day, and Happy Would-Be 132th Birthday Mr. Einstein!
Now I'm going to eat some pie.
I am,
Fondly and insanely yours,
The Ramblemeister
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