April 2: You Can Pick Your Nose...

*Here is a monologue that I wrote for Acting Class*

Every one's family is a little crazy.  That's the deal with families.  No matter what you do, they will always be there to drag you right back into their nut job world.

My family is your standard family.  Mum, dad, two brothers, me.  But then you add in the fact that my little brother spent a majority of his younger years pretending to be a cat, and now spends most of his time trying to create homemade rocket fuel.  He is going to blow up my house one day.  And throw in the fact that my older brother rarely eats carbohydrates because he is afraid of his body fat rising over a certain point, and how he tries to get rid of chocolate in my house because he wants to eat it but won't.

Or how my father decides that yanking me out from underneath my nice, warm covers by my ankles whilst singing the Hebrew alphabet at the top of his lungs is an acceptable way to wake up his teenage daughter on a Saturday.

The heart attack I suffered following that awakening topped all of the heart attack I suffer from living in my house.  Honestly, it was like that movie, Taken.  I thought that I was being abducted, and that I was going to die at the hands of some psychopathic Jewish school teacher. (I can say that, I'm Jewish.  Besides this is my crazy brain we're talking about here.)

But alas, no.  Just my dad being absolutely barking mad, as usual.  Then Joshua came in and jumped on my bed, and joined in the singing.  He sat on my stomach.  It hurt.  My mum and Jake were laughing their heads off.  At my pain.  What gives?

That's family for you.  You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can' t pick your family.

Even if I could, I'd pick them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOGGY TYPE MATES!!!

And Happy Pi Day to boot!  I picked an awesome birthday for my blog.

Thank you so much, all of you, for reading my blog, and liking it so much you want it to be a person so you could take it to Vegas and marry it most of the time.

You guys make this so much more rewarding because I know that somewhere out there in the world are people who I've never met who think I'm kind of funny.  And that is a huge freaking confidence boost.

So Happy Birthday to me, I guess.

And thanks again.  Y'all are the bee's knees!

Love and kisses,

Jen

P.S. Check out my last post, because that one was about me finally standing up for myself, and it's awesome and inspiring and all that jazz, so go check it out!

Love again,

Jen

Lots of Things. Maybe a Llama. Maybe Ice Cream. Maybe Pictures of Matt Smith With A Wallaby. I Don't Know. And Neither Will You If You Don't Check And See

I'm very bored, so I kind of want to know what you guys think of me.  Ask me what ever you want and I will answer all of them in a comprehensive blog post eventually.

So yeah, there's that.

In other news, I'm writing again!  And it feels so good!  I love having my creative juices flowing because then my whole person feels good.  And I love that.  Do any of you have something that makes you feel really good? Just like spectacularly amazing on the inside and out?

In other news, it's almost this blog's first birthday!  YAY!!!! Let's have cake and throw confetti and sprinkle happiness everywhere!!

I never thought that I would get this far.  My first blog lasted 9 months, which was pretty good.  I started this blog five months after I shut down my first.  And now it's almost one!  It's amazing to look back at my writing and realize how much I've grown as a writer.  I almost sound like an adult now!  Not really, but hey.  I can dream.

It's weird.  I went through a really little kiddish stage, then a really offensive stage, and then finally I got to the stage I'm at now.  Balancing the offensive with the intelligently witty. It's a good combo.

And I've also realized that I'm kind of alone in the blogosphere.  I feel like all of my bloggy type mates have gone on to bigger and better things and left me here alone.  Not that that isn't cool, because it is.  And to the people who are still around and still care, God knows I love ya.  I would name you off, but I can't think of any of you right now.  But you totally count and I love you to bits.

It's weird how people just pass out of your life.  Like one second they're here, the next they aren't.  That's what my new project that I am working on is about, oddly.  Funny how everything ties together in the end.

He isn't with a wallaby but sometimes there is a line  of asking too much.

This is the most expensive sundae in the world.  Shit's got caviar  in it.  It's legit.

Llamas are deceptively adorable.  I swear they are planning to take over the world.  Mark m words.

And since I promised a few things in my title, there you go.  If you can say anything about me, it's that when I deliver, I deliver. Like pizza. LOL.

Anyway, I have to go do my homework.  I want to be a good student, but y'all are distracting me, yo!  I can tell you that this isn't going to be the case next year when I have APUSH.  But that's my only AP.  I'm not taking AP Bio because I don't want my soul to die.  I think two of my friends are taking both, but then again they are both smarter than me, so.  It looks really good on transcripts, but so does stuff outside of school, and if I want to do anything outside of school, then I have to pick my battles.  And two AP classes as a junior, which is the toughest year of school anyway, is not one that I am choosing.  That was an extremely long paragraph.  I commend you if you read that.

Anyfloozle, I'm away laughing on a fast camel.

Parting Joke:
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Althea!
Althea who?
Althea later, alligator!

Bahahaha, that's a knee slapper!

Love and kisses,
Jen

EEEK YOU GUYS I AM SO EXCITED I FORGOT HOW TO UNDO THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON!!!

But no worries, I fixed it.

I am sooper dooper excited y'all.  I'm so pumped.  Like stoq'd!

It's ridicky donkey.

I had opening night of my play tonight!  It went amazingly.  Honestly.  I've never been prouder of my
drama club. We did so well.  It was fantasticisimus!

The play is Anything Goes, and if I do say so myself, we do an amazing-tastic job at being these characters.  I play a drunk French person.  That is literally my role.  I am drunk, and I am French.  My mom thought that I was hilarious, which means a lot coming from her.  I mean, she's my mom.  I like it when she is proud of me.  I have so much nervous energy right now.  It is ridiculous. 

Honestly.
I couldn't love my cast and crew more.  After hanging out with them nearly every day for four months, you can't help but being a big family. It just happens naturally.  I love each and every one of them and they all know it because I hug every single one of them.  Every single day.

SO MUCH ENERGY!!!

Oh, and I'm feeling much better, for those of you who care.  I still have a cough, but hey, everyone is coughing. I am not coughing in solidarity.  I am coughing in a coughing barbershop quartet.  I cough alto.  I took that way too far.

I'll report back soon about everything else that happens.  It'll be a blast.

OH, one funny awkward story to tell.  So you know that guy that I moaned about a few posts ago?  Well, I was talking to him today before the show (he's in crew) and I was laughing and walking away after making a joke at his expense (the only way to make jokes) and I had one of the costume ladies tell me explicitly, while laughing "He's much too young for you."

I nearly died of embarassment.  I had to go hide in the dressing room and laugh quietly to myself for a while.

I have to go to sleep because it is midnight and I still have school tomorrow.  So I love you all and I'll talk to all y'all soon!

I am too tired to tell a joke, but I promise I have a good one lined up.

Love and kisses,

L.

I Am Literally Death Warmed Over

Now, I pride myself on having a very healthy and robust immune systaselfrhkhjslkdf.

I can't even pretend for the sake of pretending that the statement above is true.

I have always been a sickly child.  It started when I was a baby, with ear infections, and moved on to stomach issues, then lung issues, then sinus issues, then knee issues.  I've just never been a really healthy kid. I got pneumonia twice. TWICE. In two years. That is just not healthy at all.

Murr...

Where was I? I stopped and watched probably four videos on Youtube, so I'm a little foggy as to what I was - OH! I remember!

I'M SICK!

HUGE SHOCK RIGHT?!

But I am. I am properly sick. Like taking a shower took so much out of me that as soon as I was done I lay down and took a nap. My voice is gone, I have these huge watery eyes, and my sides literally ache from coughing.

If I die, it would be a relief from the coughing. Because there is coughing. Oh so much coughing.

I haven't been this sick in years. And what sucks is that my play debuts next Thursday. I NEED A VOICE TO SAY MY THIRTEEN LINES!!! GAHHH!!!!

Maybe I could mime it all. Maybe I could go kill the part of me that thought miming would be a good idea, because mimes are scary and unnecessary.

Maybe I could go to bed, so that I could go to school tomorrow.

That sounds peachy. Maybe I'll do that.

I'm off to go swallow five hundred tablets of vitamin C.  C you all later!

Did you C what I did there?

*begins to laugh like the proverbial drain*

Catch ya on the flip side y'all.

Parting Joke:

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at C!

Love and kisses,

L.