Quote of the Week

Take a shower, shine your shoes/ You got no time to lose/ You are young men you must be living/ So go now you are forgiven.
-The General, Dispatch

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Life Is An STD That Is Always Fatal

Lovelypoos! I'm back!  I'm not dead!  I didn't fall off the face of the earth!  I wasn't eaten by rabid walruses!  I just had a really big history project due, and that took up all of my time.  It won't happen again.  Kidding, it probably will happen.  All the time.  So sorry about that.

I'm going to confess something to you all that I haven't actually confessed out loud, not even when I'm talking to myself.

Prepare yourselves for what may seem like deep-rooted self esteem issues mixed in with some adolescent hormonal moaning.  But don't worry; It's just sleep deprivation.

I'm afraid that I'm defective.  I know that that sounds awful and terrible, but I do.  I have two friends, yes?  I have them in most of my classes, and during PE we sit in the corner of the gymnasium on the mats and talk about stuff (yes, for all of you who are wondering, I'm passing this class with an A, thank you very much).  Mostly the stuff we talk about is boys, because we are girls. 

Now my two friends, both of them openly have crushes on boys, I guess is the way to put it.  Both of them have had multiple boyfriends and they both get boys to like them really easily.

Here is where I feel like I'm defective.  I can't get a guy to like me.  Like ever.  I've had a grand total of one boyfriend, and that was for fifteen minutes in the sixth grade.  I've never been kissed, and I doubt any self-respecting guy has even thought about kissing me, regardless of how horny he was.

And I don't feel a need to always like a guy.  I haven't 'had a crush' since sixth grade.  At least on anyone attainable.  I have 'idea crushes', as in, I love the idea of someone, like a celebrity.  Or I get really attached to a voice.  Or a character in a book.  But not on anyone real.  Does that make me defective?  Or weird?

I am kind of worried that I'm going to end up lonely and alone because I have trouble making connections with people.  I feel like people think that I'm aloof.  I guess sometimes I do act like that.  It's my own fault.  I act aloof and use caustic sarcasm as a way to hide the fact that I have no idea how to act and that I actually am quite shy.

People have said that one of my great qualities is no fear to talk to strangers and a vast knowledge that allows me to relate to anyone.  If only they knew.

Okay, so that was deeply personal, I'm so sorry that I just subjected you to that.

I love you all.  Seriously.

Parting joke:

Why did the dolphin commit suicide?

Because his life had no porpoise!

Love and kisses,



  1. I haven't even had a kiss or a boyfriend yet, and I'm 15.
    And the last time I seriously liked a guy was in 6ht grade.
    So no, you're not defective. We're just young. And when we are ready, we will meet guys.

  2. I think that we place too much importance on boys and stuff as a society. I know that that statement isn't helpful, but it's definitely very true.
    Guys are overrated. I had my first kiss over the summer, but then it ended up hurting me. <-- God, I'm emo. But anyway, I think that as teenagers we should concentrate on ourselves.
    Also, you're normal.
    (I know someone who feels the same way as you do.)

  3. I kinda did a similiar blog post not too long ago lamenting the fact that I'd never had a girlfriend either. My post went on to say esentially 'Screw it, move on'.

    At the age you're at now, everyone (and this is the same for everyone, regardless of where they are or are from) puts too much focus and energy on attaining a gf or bf. And it's not that big a deal if you don't, really, it's just that at that age it's seen as a 'big' social kinda thing. But in reality it's pretty meaningless.

    For the vast majority of times, highschool relationships don't mean sh*t, and they're based more on a type of lust than on any true, deep-rooted feelings. At the high schools I work at, I see all the 'couples' walking around and stuff saying "I love you. I'll miss you." before they split for different classes, and it honestly makes me laugh. At that age, no one really knows what love is. Or what any deeper, more meaningful, legit emotions are really, than a type of lust. As harsh as that sounds, it's true. Sure, SOMEtimes it might be something more legit, but much more often than not they're shallow relationships that don't mean much at all and don't last.

    So don't worry too much and don't put too much pressure on it - you're not missing out on much and you're better off holding out for someone deserving of you than just 'settling' for someone half-arsed. And just be yourself (as horribly cliche' as that sounds), because everyone deserves to find someone who likes them for who they are; not for who they're pretending to be.

    So yeah. Don't get too hung up on it. You'll find someone ;).

  4. I just discovered you. And I like you. A lot.

    I just thought you should know.

  5. You're talking about not getting boys.
    Have you considered looking around and finding a boy who's a bit shy and hitting him on the head with something heavy?

    Just a suggestion. Hot boys are boysluts usually, so aim for a quiet geek boy, maybe you'll have better luck.

    Of course, minimalist clothing often works too, but it mostly attracts more boysluts...


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