This is just a little thing to put as a warning

Do not expect any content from me this week, until about Friday.
I have exams and literally have been studying my ass off.
I have no ass you guys.
It's gone.
It's disappeared.
So wait a few days.
Maybe if I haven't died I'll talk about the concert I'm going to on the last day of school.
In the meantime, watch The5LightningScars.
Kthxbailoveandkissesjen

And We're Done With The Week of Self-Promotion!

This is Yana.  I can tell Yana and I are going to be really good friends because we both like Doctor Who.

So the week of Self-Promotion is done!  I will be occasionally referring back to this, because, hey, let's face it, I want this collab channel to go well.  Really really well.  So go subscribe to our channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/the5lightningscars?feature=results_main and I will love you forever.  Not that I already don't.

Well, I have to go study for finals, so wish me luck.

Love and kisses,

Jen

ARGH THE CHARM IT'S EVERYWHERE

Again, the charm.  The charm, guys.  It's everywhere.  Not only that, but Allyson's eyes are absolutely gorgeous.

I want blue eyes.

Love and kisses,

Jen

BRITISH ACCENTS!!!

Continuing with 'Oh look I'm on a collab channel now" here is Izzy's video.

Like Lex, she is amazingly charming.

And she has a British accent.

A BRITISH ACCENT YOU GUYS.

I'm going to look so uncharming next to the others.

So, without further ado, Izzy.

I'll post Allyson's tomorrow.

Love and kisses, fooligans!

Jen

In Which I Regret Living In Massachusetts

So, we have a saying in Massachusetts, which is "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes."

...Well, people pretty much in every state say this, but in Massachusetts it is particularly true.  And maybe this year it hasn't been waiting five minutes but something is definitely wrong with the picture.

Allow me to elucidate.  Last Friday it was GORGEOUS.  Like 80 degrees, not a cloud in the sky gorgeous.  It felt like summer.  It was beautiful out.

The rain started Friday night.  And the rain has not stopped since then.

Yes folks, on June 4th in Massachusetts it is 62 degrees and raining.  It feels like April.  The months are out of whack.  I mean, it's June and I'm wearing flannel jim jams.  This isn't normal, this isn't natural.  Something is WRONG.

But you know what can make stupid weather a lot better?

Watching videos on YouTube.

Want to know a video you should watch?

How about this one?

CLICK HERE TO HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN.

Do you know what that is, fooligans?  That is a video collab channel.

Do you know who is in that video collab channel?

ME.  And four of my bloggy type mates.

So you know what you should do?  You should go over and watch Lexie introduce us, The5LightningScars.

Link to our channel is here: The5LightningScars.  I know it isn't pretty and stuff yet, but we're working on it.

So go subscribe and make a very cold girl very happy.

I'm Thursday :)

Sorry for the - Wait... Nope. Not sorry.  SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION EXCEPT IT ISN'T REALLY SELF BECAUSE THERE ARE FIVE OTHER PEOPLE.

Love and kisses,

Jen

P.S. Not that it matters, but for any of you who care, my treatment on Friday went really, really well and I feel better.  Like, a lot better.  Like, I came home on Friday and my mother told me that I seemed like a completely different person after five hours better.  So, if you care, now you know.  And thank you for caring :)

Yeah, You All Have Permission To Throw Tomatoes At Me

So you know how in my last post I said I was going to do a writing schedule?

Um...

Ha...

So that didn't last long did it?

Well, to be fair, my dad did take away my laptop yesterday, so that wasn't entirely my fault.

How's about we call it even and I pull a Vlogbrothers' schedule?  Tuesdays and Fridays?  Either way, none of y'all are going to complain, right?

Awesome.

This weekend is going to be crazy.  We're having 35 people over, and my house isn't exactly what you'd call big.  I guess this is what happens when you graduate from high school.

Anyways, I'm exhausted.  I've woken up at 4 in the morning every day this week.  I'm drained.

Love and kisses,

Jen

P.S. You all have permission to berate me for being a hypocrite.  A hungry hungry hypocrite.

GHOST IN THE STALLS

I think I watch this video at least twice, maybe three times a week.  It never stops being funny to me.

Hope it makes you all laugh as well.

Love and kisses,

Jen

P.S. I actually kind of miss BEDA.  Never thought I'd say it, but I do.

April 22: My Insecurities

I watched a video today, which I will post at the bottom, that made me really think about some stuff.  It was about insecurities and why they don't matter.  In fact, the title of the video was 'Insecurities and Why They Don't Matter'.  Pretty self explanatory, huh?

Anyways, I am... wait for it... extremely insecure.  Now, I know a lot of you must be thinking "Jennelle, insecure?  You are such a silly biscuit for even insinuating that claim!  Go into the corner and think about what you've just said!"  Before things get completely out of hand, let me explain.  I am insecure, and that's... well, that's basically it.  I've explained it.

I have some normal insecurities and some not so normal insecurities.  Want to hear them?

TOO BAD, YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR THEM ANYWAYS!!!  AHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

I'm an evil overlord at heart, let me just live out my delusions of grandeur alone with my cats.  Which would make me not alone, but whatever.

Here goes nothing.

My Insecurities

1. My teeth.  I've been self-conscious about my teeth for pretty much my entire existence on this planet.  They are really tiny, and I used to have really huge gaps in my top front teeth.  Braces fixed the top gaps, but I still have gaps in my bottom teeth.  Also, my canine teeth are really prominent and large in comparison to the rest of my teeth, so I look a bit like a vampire, or a werewolf, depending.

2. My weight.  I live in a very weight conscious family.  My older brother is so athletic, and his natural metabolism is so fast that he used to lose five pounds in his sleep. IN HIS SLEEP.  I can't lose five pounds even I diet for a month.  I gain weight just by looking at bread.  I've never really been 'overweight', but for someone who stand 5'1", if you weigh a normal weight it looks like you weigh a lot more, simply because there isn't as much body to distribute that weight to.  Now, a lot of my weight is muscle because I did karate for 12 years, but ever since I stopped I kind of lost a little muscle tone.  Swimsuit season, people.  I want to look good when I go to Israel! There are some hot guys going on my trip!

3.  My intellect.  I am going to try to explain this one without sounding pretentious, because talking about something like intelligence often has the capacity to stray into that area.  I am a know-it-all.  I'm that kid that loves to know that they are right.  I correct people when they say words wrong.  I'm that kid.  But the problem is that while I am intelligent, that intelligence doesn't spread evenly over all subject matter.  I'm very good at languages and history, and a little more than slightly less good at maths and science.  The problem with this completely normal problem is that I hold myself to such high standards that I simply cannot allow failure.  I got a C for the first time ever last quarter.  And believe me, I'm beating myself up more than anyone else is.

4. My nose.  I have been told multiple times by multiple people that my nose isn't big.  It just is big to me.  It's one of those things that I will never be okay with, simply because I can't do anything about it.  Before anyone tells me that I could get a nose job if I so chose, let me tell you how doctors perform rhinoplasties.  First, they have to break your nose and take out the excess cartilage.  Then they reshape the remaining cartilage by shaving it down.  Excuse me if I don't do that to my face.

5.  My fear that no one likes me.  I have friends, friends that would do anything for me.  But with acquaintances, I'm never really sure if they like me or just tolerate me.  Because by all accounts of humanity I can be annoying.  Sometimes I have to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself to stop being such a freak, because I wig out way too much.  I know that it is completely irrational for me to feel this way, but I still do.

I only want to list five because I don't want to bore you all.  But believe you me, there are more.

But that's okay.  It's okay to be insecure.  It's okay to feel awkward in your own skin.  Because the odds are everyone else feels the same way that you do about themselves.  So embrace your insecurities.  Tell them that it's okay.  Tell yourself that it is okay to feel the way you feel.

Then come find me and we can be insecure together.  We'll have a grand old time, I promise.

Here is the video.

Hope you enjoy it and I hope it makes you examine yourself for a second and then feel better about yourself as well.  That's what it did for me.

As always, love and kisses,

Jen

April 17: Updates N' Stuff

If that video doesn't make you laugh, something is wrong with you.  I literally laughed until I cried.

Anywho, I went to the doctors today in re my head condition.  Apparently I have 'textbook occipital neuralgia', but the fact that my headaches aren't always the same means that I could have more than one headache condition.  Colour me excited.

So now I'm on new medicine, since I maxed out on my old medicine and it didn't do anything.  The new stuff I'm on apparently makes you sleepy, so hopefully that will combat my burgeoning insomnia.

Other than the medicine, however, I'm supposed to get a steroid and a anesthetic administered locally, i.e. they have to SHOOT IT INTO THE NERVE IN MY HEAD WITH A NEEDLE.  HOLY SHIT CATS YOU GUYS.  I don't have a terrible fear of needles, I just am not a fan of pain.  Obviously.

That just reminded me...

Watch this and laugh.  Please.  It's funny and they are British.  And there's explosions.  And cats.  You can't not like it.

So that basically sums up my life right about now.  I haven't really been doing anything since I'm on break.  Actually, I have to put away my winter clothes.  Right now, I have all of my clothes just sitting out in my room, in just a giant pile of clothes threatening to fall over and kill me.  I live in a delicate balance, my friends.  A delicate balance.

Oh, and did anyone watch Avatar: The Legend of Korra?  I'm so glad that it is as good as it is, considering how much I loved the other show.

Well, duckies, I must fly.  I took my meds and now I'm sleepy as a really sleepy thing that sleeps.

Love and kisses,

Jen

April 6/7: Yeah Yeah Yeah, I KNOW! Here Is Some Music and Words.

I failed BEDA.  I did.  It was going so well, and then POOF.  So here is a extra super long bloggy type post to compensate for the fact that I cannot finish anything.  So here are two things.  I hope you like my things.

Also, a huge thank you to the people who gave me ideas for my play!  They really helped! You got the brain juices flowing, and the bubble bath was awesome.  Y'all are just the best.

Thing 1: A List of Jennelle's Favorite* Songs Right Now
*Keep in mind that I listen to a LOT of music, so favorite isn't so much of a permanent thing.  Things change.  A lot.  So here's twenty songs I like right now.

The Fault In Our Stars - Bloom
If you've read the book, it is based on it.  If you haven't, it is still a really good song.

Daisy's Lullaby (The Great Gatsby Rap) - Will Thwaites
Honestly the best rap about a book I've ever heard.  It doesn't hurt that I love The Great Gatsby, but still.

Falling Slowly - Glan Hansard and Marketa Irglova
I love this song.  Like a lot.  Like I would marry the guy who sang this to me playing guitar.  Any takers?

Loveology - Regina Spektor
This isn't on any of her albums.  But this song is amazing.  I love Regina Spektor.  SO MUCH.

Oedipus - Regina Spektor
Yeah, Regina Spektor is the best.  There will be a few songs from her on this list.  And this will be long.

Bobbing For Apples - Regina Spektor
This is so good, and then there is just one line and you have to laugh.  Hard.

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men
I love this band.  The two lead singer's voices are amazing.  Like absolutely aces.

The Curse - Josh Ritter
This song is so beautiful.  Josh Ritter is a new favorite.

Feeding Line - Boy and Bear
They're from Australia.  Come on, it's me.

Indigo - Tom Milsom
I think that Tom Milsom is a genius when it comes to music.  He doesn't try to fit into any set genre.  He's his own thing.  Plus this song teaches you the names to about a billion cool colours.

A Little Irony - Tom Milsom
One comment. Look at how big his hands are.  Piano hands.

Song For The Painfully Indie - Tom Milsom
Seriously.  This guy is amazing. This song could make hipsters doubt themselves.

Lady Godiva - Alex Day
Okay, it's Alex Day.  How could you not love him.  Honestly.  Look at his pants.  Just look at them.  Or his face.  Look at that too.

Bread - Charlie McDonnell
You will sing this.  It will get stuck in your head, and you will sing it forever.

Doctor What - Charlie McDonnell
It's Doctor Who + Charlieissocoollike.  Again, come on, it's me.

Catch My Disease - Ben Lee
It is so catchy and happy.  You can't not love it.

Counting On Karma - Will Dailey and the Rivals
This guy has such a good voice, and this song has such a nice message.

After Tonight - Justin Nozuka
This guy could win the sexy voice award.  ALL THE AWARDS.  I've loved this guy for years, but this recently came up on my iPod and I was like 'LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!'

The Science of Selling Yourself Short - Less Than Jake
I could do a whole list on ska songs I like.  Maybe I will.  Tee hee, I love ska music.  It is so happy.

Keasbey Nights - Streetlight Manifesto
Try singing this song.  Very hard.  But you will still totally try.

Okay, I'm done with boring you all with my weird music tastes.  I listen to a lot more than what I've shown you, since I've highlighted a few artists or whatever, but yeah.  I really like these songs, and I fully endorse the artists, because they are all brilliant.

Thing 2:  A Snippet of My Play
I promised you guys that I would show you this, so here is a little bit of my play.  I hope you enjoy it, because this play is killing me.  It's due in a week and I'm not even halfway done.  Anyway, no complaining. Enjoy!

"                        GARRETT

              (gives her a face; shoves some noodles in his mouth, talking around them)

So what?  Don’t tell me that you wouldn’t change it if you could?

                        VALERIE

By ‘it’ you mean my disability, right?  I don’t think I would, actually.

                        RUTH

Why is that, Valerie?

                        VALERIE

I like who I am.  So, I have a disability, and sometimes life doesn’t make sense.  But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t wish it away.  My disability makes me unique.

     (everyone freezes, save GARRETT)

                        GARRETT

              (sets down Chinese food, stands up)

See, this is why I didn’t want to come.  ‘My disability makes me unique’.  Sure, having a disability might make you different, but if I could get rid of my Tourette’s, I would.  In a heartbeat. And the anxiety that comes with the Tourette’s?  Yeah, I could really do without that. And the headaches that I get when I try to conceal my tics?  Yeah, they are just a barrel of freaking laughs.  I was seven when they gave me my diagnosis.  Seven.  It’s been ten years.  And living with this hasn’t gotten any easier.

              (sits)

    

     (everyone unfreezes)           

GARRETT

              (a certain level of contempt)

Your disability makes you ‘unique’?  Is that so?  Well, just hop on board the obvious train and get yourself a prize!  What do you have, anxiety?

               (waits for VALERIE to respond; when she doesn’t, continues, with a kind of malicious glee)

(cont.) Or is it something even more embarrassingly un-disabled?  What is it, huh?  Is it a panic disorder?

     (VALERIE fidgets, obviously uncomfortable.  GARRETT has hit his mark.)

(cont.) It is a panic disorder, isn’t it?  Well, aren’t you a special snowflake?

                         VALERIE

               (close to tears)

You don’t have to be so mean!  We’re all here because we’re disabled, whether you want to admit it or not.  You don’t have to be such a massive dick about it!

                         GARRETT

               (yelling)

Accept that you aren’t unique!  Having a disability makes you disabled, and that’s it!  Deal with it!

     (VALERIE bursts into tears and runs from the room.  Everyone else is deadly quiet.  WALTER and JACK look awkwardly at one another; ABBY signs ‘do you understand what happened?’ at LIV and LIV shakes her head and signs ‘no’. RUTH is furious)

                         RUTH

               (deadly calm; this is a side of RUTH that is rarely seen, but she is like a mama bear right now.)

Garrett, there is no reason for you to talk to Valerie that way.  This group was created for support and I’m not going to have you undermine its inherent message by letting you degrade its members.  You just attacked Valerie personally, and believe me when I tell you that it will never happen again.  Now, you will go find Valerie, and apologize.  Right now.

     (everyone turns and looks at GARRETT, who holds up his hands in defeat)

                         GARRETT

               (holds up his hands in defeat)

Fine.  I’ll go apologize.  But only because you asked so nicely.

     (blackout)"

So yeah, that was part of my play.  Please tell me what you thought of it, I could really use your help!

I think that that compensates for me forgetting yesterday.  In my defense, I was reading A Game of Thrones, so there.

Happy Easter/Passover to all, and to all a good night!  Day.  Whatever, you know what I mean.

Love and kisses,

Jen

Sorry That I Haven't Posted In A While, Lovelypoos...

It's just that I've been mad busy and stuff, being a teenager and all that jazz.

I got a callback for my school play, so that's good!

I froze my butt off at a football game yesterday, and I slammed my knee into one of the drums.  I have a bruise the size of Kansas.  Quite enjoyable. Really.  I love not being able to bend my knee *SARCASM*.

Watch this.

I don't care if you don't like Doctor Who, or the Proclaimers.  You will love this video or I will find you and make you love it.  Well that sounded sufficiently rape-y, so...

You like jazz?

I digress.

Anyway, so now that I've shared that...What did I do today?  I was a cool kid.  I went to an Academic Decathlon Qualifying Test.  We didn't make it, but still.  Fun experience. 

Funny story of my awkwardness commencing.  We were exiting the theater where the orientation had been given, and I just noticed that the walls, I kid you not, were hung with chain mail drapery.  Chain mail drapery!  Do you know how amazingly wonderful and weird that is?  Very, is the answer.  If you didn't answer as such, go die in a hole.  Chain mail is freaking awesome.  Anyway, I noticed, and I had a mini freak out over how awesome it was.  I kept poking it and telling my friends Aniket and Ryan how cool it was, and how they should touch it.  Then the guy who was facilitating our test taps me on the shoulder, and said "You do know that you are being filmed, don't you?"

THERE WAS A VIDEOGRAPHER RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOORWAY WATCHING ME HAVE A ME-TYPE MOMENT WITH THE CHAIN MAIL DRAPES!!!!!

Oh, Moses and the Israelites I was SO embarrassed.  I couldn't stop giggling and my face went beet red.  (I don't get that phrase.  Beets are pink.)  My face when beet pink, then, brain.  Blushed like a blushing thing that blushes.  It was what I was meant to do.  Baby I was born this way!  Enough.

So embarrassing.

Oh, and it gets weirder!  On our way out after the test was over, I saw the same videographer!  And he smiled oh so creepily at me.  I very nearly flipped him off.  But I didn't.  Because that would have put me in the 'Not Normal' category, and that category was probably the only one that my team won.  We were all cashe, in like jeans and t-shirts.  Ryan was wearing sweat pants.  Everyone else there was wearing like matching shirts and button downs with ties and dress shoes.  Ultimate nobheads.  Seriously.  So I didn't flip off the videographer, no matter how dearly I wanted to.  I restrained.  I'm a lady.  Mostly.

So I have callbacks for the play tomorrow.  I'm excited, but at the same time kind of nervous.  First time I've ever gotten callbacks before, so this is entirely new for me.  I guess it means that my directors finally think that I'm good enough to be something other than extra number five.  Which would be awesome.  Really truly awesome.  So wish me luck, lovelypoos!

Here is a song for you all to listen to.  I want reviews in the comments.  Keep in mind, I love this song, so don't say anything mean or I will write nasty things about your cat.

Henrietta, The Fratellis

LOVE LOVE LOVE this song.  I love that whole cd.  And that band.  So, enjoy!

Parting Joke:
Two women walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle. One sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it. "That's nice, isn't it?" Sharon said waving her arm under her friend's nose. "Yeah. What's it called?" "Viens a moi." "Viens a moi? What's that mean?" A clerk offered some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'" Sharon took another sniff. "That doesn't smell like come to me," she said, offering her arm to her friend again. "Does that smell like come to you?"

Enjoy!

Best wishes!

Love and kisses,

L.

MORE LINKS TO CLICK!!! CLICK THEM CLICK THEM CLICK THEM!!!!

You know how I wrote that thing about glee give a note?

And how if you clicked the link I would give you a place in my government when I take over the world?  Something like that?

Yeah, that still applies.

CLICKY THE LINKY!

CLICK ME I'M A LINK!

But in addition to helping my school win some cashola for music, and you all know how important music is, I'm giving you lovelypoos another link to click.  And you will hear the sound of my voice for possibly the first time.  Grab onto your socks, pants, hats, anything that could be blown off, because I am about to BLOW YOUR MIND.

Click this and follow the sound of my voice.

I appear at I think around the 1 minute mark.  Be forewarned - I was not told that I would be used for filming that day, so I'm wearing no makeup and my acorn hat.  You will see why I call it an acorn hat if you click the link.  You will also see that I'm really bad at improvising. 

But I thought you might enjoy this.  My school is quite hilarious.  I'm proud to be part of the band! Even if we are clumsy.   You will get it if you click the link!  Promise!

That's right.

I'm in the band!

Love and kisses,

L.

P.S. That thing about the squirrel?  Not a lie.  If you click the link, you will know what I'm talking about!

P.P.S.  The pads bit made my think of sanitary pads.  It was awkward, because it is funny, and if you think of that, it makes it funnier.  CLICKTHELINKIFYOUWANTTOKNOWWHATIMTALKINGABOUT!!!!

P.P.S.  I really want you to click the link, can you tell?  Because 1.  I want you to like my school and vote for us for the glee thing, and 2. I want you to see that I'm an awkward awkwarder who likes to awkward and that I'm wearing a hat.  And that I exist.  So, click the links, yeah?

So Um, The World Is Ending In A Week (?)

Alright, so this one took me as a shock.

I watch a lot of YouTube (aka I'm glued to my computer. You have to surgically remove my fingers from the keys. I am a part of Finn. (Finn is my computer) And Finn is a part of me. Deal with it bitches!) and I follow a lot of YouTubers. I particularly enjoy Nerimon, aka Alex Day, who I've mentioned before. In his latest video, which you can click and watch here, he talks about something called the Rapture, and how this is apparently the end of the world.

The world is ending in one week people. Someone throw a party. We all need to get properly sloshed and go out in style with matching tatoos of the cast of A Very Potter Musical on our backs.

So this is a thing, apparently. It has its own Wikipedia page, so you know that it is legit. I'm sorry I'm linking so much, but this is just super interesting to me. Also, if the world does end in a week, someone fuck me. I don't want to die a virgin. That would suck.

But this is honestly very interesting to me, since I am not a very religious person. I was raised Jewish, I am Bat Mitzvah, and I can speak Yiddish, but really I don't buy into the whole organized religion thing. Example: I haven't been to temple since my Bat Mitzvah. That was four years ago. To me, religion is a much more personal matter, and while I'm not entirely sure I believe in "God" I do believe that there is something out there. Partially because it is nice to think that it is more than just us, partially because it is nice to have reassurance that those you love will one day be reunited with you someway, somehow, because I can't bear the thought of never seeing those I love ever again, and partially because I find it helpful to have someone to blame when shit goes on in this world that defies explanation. There has to be a scapegoat, so blame God!

If any of you who read this are really religious, this post may seem a little blasphemous and shit, and I totally understand if you stop reading or whatever, but this is just what I believe. I'm agnostic. Which basically means I'm a pussy atheist.

In all seriousness though, I am agnostic, I'm not a fan of organized religion, and science makes a whole lot of sense to me. But sometimes you just look at something and you have to say that something greater than us had a hand in it. Science, life, existence can not take credit for all that is beautiful in this world. There is something greater. At least that is what I think.

Anywho, where was I?

Oh right. The Rapture.

Here is the basic picture: Some people believe that the Bible is basically a code for figuring out when certain prophecies will come into fruition. These wackjobs have predicted that the world will end, how shall I put this, A WHOLE FUCKING LOT. Seriously. Why can't we just have one Doomsday prophecy and be done with all of this shit? Reading this wiki, the End of Days has been predicted by numerous different groups no less than SIXTEEN TIMES. It's been different people, but they've all read the Bible, done some math, and came up with different dates. Isaac Newton one of them. He said that the Four Horsemen won't be riding their steeds of Pain and Suffering no time before 2060. This one guy, Harold Camping, has said that the world will end at least twice. Once in 1994. And when that didn't happen, he had to predict it AGAIN, saying that the world will end in 2011. As in, May 21, 2011.

As in, next Saturday.

Alright folks, it's time to sharpen those axes and start collecting ammo, because the Four Horsemen are coming and coming fast. I can hear the whinnies of their ponies. We've exited the valley of the royally screwed and climbed up into the mountains of the totally fucked.

My one qualm with this? If you are going to predict the End of Days so close to 2012, why can't you just hold off and say that the world IS going to end in 2012? Personally, I believe the Mayans. If they could create a calendar that lasted longer than their empire and end it on a year that still strikes fear into the hearts of the masses, I'll believe you over a bunch of Bible huggers who can't get their math straight. And even then, I don't believe in 2012.

Here's how this whole Rapture thing is supposed to go down. On May 21, the world will begin to end. All of the people who believe in God and Jesus or whatever will be saved by the second coming of Christ and taken into Heaven right away. Those who don't get to go the express route to Heaven have to live on Earth for the next five months, where it will literally be Hell on earth, with demons and shit running around wrecking havoc. Where oh where is Buffy when you need her, right? Then in October, the world will officially tap out.

Sounds like a blasty blast.

I'll be sharpening my katanas, since I'm sure as shit not going to Heaven the express route. Hell, I don't even believe in Heaven. Jews don't. We believe that when the Messiah comes (and it isn't Jesus) that all of our dead will rise again and the Messiah will take us to the promised land. I think. I don't really know the whole score. I do know that Jews don't get cremated for that reason though. That's why it's cool to be a Jew. You become a zombie! JEWS FTW!

So whether you believe in it or not, the end is coming. I can't wait to see what happens.

See you on the battle field.

Parting joke:

What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe?

A canoe tips...

(I laughed so hard at this one. I love making racist jokes towards myself. Besides, Jew jokes are fucking hilarious!)

Have a great last week on Earth everybody!

L. out, bitches.