ARGH I AM SO SORRY THAT I AM NOT DOING THINGS FOR YOU!!!!
It's like I've had nothing to write about. Which, logistically, after writing every day for thirty days, makes sense. I took all of my good ideas and used them up. That is what has happened to me. I am a used up paper napkin, a piece of trash in the wind.
It's late; can you tell?
I have state testing tomorrow.
Bad news: it takes up two hours of my life that I could be spending actually learning things that are relevant to my future.
Good news: once I'm finished tomorrow, I never have to take state tests again! YES THANK THE GODS.
Honestly. The questions that they ask have to be able to be answered by those with all levels of intelligence, so that means that if you have half a brain inside of your skull, then most of the questions are an insult to your IQ. Not even a joke, the math that I had to do today could be done by a seventh grader. I could have taken that test in seventh grade and passed it with flying colors.
I just have to console myself that I will never have to take them again. Also, if you do really well on them you can get scholarships to state schools. Not that that is applicable to me, since I don't intend on staying in Massachusetts. Not even remotely close.
It's been raining here for about three weeks now. If it rains any more you're going to have to start calling me Noah and rounding up the animals two by two. Ugh, I'm going to end up tearing my hair out of my head.
My older brother is graduating on Sunday. I don't know what to do with myself. Part of me is really jealous that he is finally finished and can move on with his life and part of me is scared because I'm next. I only have two more years left in high school, and if this year was any indication, they won't be very long years. I miss being little and feeling like minutes were hours. Now it feels like minutes are seconds and my life is just flying by. I always say I can't wait to get out of my town, and I can't, but at the same time I really don't want to grow up. Someone text Peter Pan. I want a one way trip to Neverland.
Hey, at least if I'm there I don't have to take state tests. And that would be a blessing.
Okay fooligans, here's the scoop. I'm going to try a writing schedule. I'll alternate weeks, 1 week with posts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and 1 week with posts on Tuesday and Thursday. That way, I'm motivating myself to write and keeping the creative juices flowing. Juices. That is a weird word.
Okay, I need to go to bed. I have tests in the morning.
Shoot me.
Love and kisses,
Jen
Showing posts with label intelligence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label intelligence. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
April 22: My Insecurities
I watched a video today, which I will post at the bottom, that made me really think about some stuff. It was about insecurities and why they don't matter. In fact, the title of the video was 'Insecurities and Why They Don't Matter'. Pretty self explanatory, huh?
Anyways, I am... wait for it... extremely insecure. Now, I know a lot of you must be thinking "Jennelle, insecure? You are such a silly biscuit for even insinuating that claim! Go into the corner and think about what you've just said!" Before things get completely out of hand, let me explain. I am insecure, and that's... well, that's basically it. I've explained it.
I have some normal insecurities and some not so normal insecurities. Want to hear them?
TOO BAD, YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR THEM ANYWAYS!!! AHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
I'm an evil overlord at heart, let me just live out my delusions of grandeur alone with my cats. Which would make me not alone, but whatever.
Here goes nothing.
My Insecurities
1. My teeth. I've been self-conscious about my teeth for pretty much my entire existence on this planet. They are really tiny, and I used to have really huge gaps in my top front teeth. Braces fixed the top gaps, but I still have gaps in my bottom teeth. Also, my canine teeth are really prominent and large in comparison to the rest of my teeth, so I look a bit like a vampire, or a werewolf, depending.
2. My weight. I live in a very weight conscious family. My older brother is so athletic, and his natural metabolism is so fast that he used to lose five pounds in his sleep. IN HIS SLEEP. I can't lose five pounds even I diet for a month. I gain weight just by looking at bread. I've never really been 'overweight', but for someone who stand 5'1", if you weigh a normal weight it looks like you weigh a lot more, simply because there isn't as much body to distribute that weight to. Now, a lot of my weight is muscle because I did karate for 12 years, but ever since I stopped I kind of lost a little muscle tone. Swimsuit season, people. I want to look good when I go to Israel! There are some hot guys going on my trip!
3. My intellect. I am going to try to explain this one without sounding pretentious, because talking about something like intelligence often has the capacity to stray into that area. I am a know-it-all. I'm that kid that loves to know that they are right. I correct people when they say words wrong. I'm that kid. But the problem is that while I am intelligent, that intelligence doesn't spread evenly over all subject matter. I'm very good at languages and history, and a little more than slightly less good at maths and science. The problem with this completely normal problem is that I hold myself to such high standards that I simply cannot allow failure. I got a C for the first time ever last quarter. And believe me, I'm beating myself up more than anyone else is.
4. My nose. I have been told multiple times by multiple people that my nose isn't big. It just is big to me. It's one of those things that I will never be okay with, simply because I can't do anything about it. Before anyone tells me that I could get a nose job if I so chose, let me tell you how doctors perform rhinoplasties. First, they have to break your nose and take out the excess cartilage. Then they reshape the remaining cartilage by shaving it down. Excuse me if I don't do that to my face.
5. My fear that no one likes me. I have friends, friends that would do anything for me. But with acquaintances, I'm never really sure if they like me or just tolerate me. Because by all accounts of humanity I can be annoying. Sometimes I have to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself to stop being such a freak, because I wig out way too much. I know that it is completely irrational for me to feel this way, but I still do.
I only want to list five because I don't want to bore you all. But believe you me, there are more.
But that's okay. It's okay to be insecure. It's okay to feel awkward in your own skin. Because the odds are everyone else feels the same way that you do about themselves. So embrace your insecurities. Tell them that it's okay. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel the way you feel.
Then come find me and we can be insecure together. We'll have a grand old time, I promise.
Here is the video.
Hope you enjoy it and I hope it makes you examine yourself for a second and then feel better about yourself as well. That's what it did for me.
As always, love and kisses,
Jen
Anyways, I am... wait for it... extremely insecure. Now, I know a lot of you must be thinking "Jennelle, insecure? You are such a silly biscuit for even insinuating that claim! Go into the corner and think about what you've just said!" Before things get completely out of hand, let me explain. I am insecure, and that's... well, that's basically it. I've explained it.
I have some normal insecurities and some not so normal insecurities. Want to hear them?
TOO BAD, YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR THEM ANYWAYS!!! AHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
I'm an evil overlord at heart, let me just live out my delusions of grandeur alone with my cats. Which would make me not alone, but whatever.
Here goes nothing.
My Insecurities
1. My teeth. I've been self-conscious about my teeth for pretty much my entire existence on this planet. They are really tiny, and I used to have really huge gaps in my top front teeth. Braces fixed the top gaps, but I still have gaps in my bottom teeth. Also, my canine teeth are really prominent and large in comparison to the rest of my teeth, so I look a bit like a vampire, or a werewolf, depending.
2. My weight. I live in a very weight conscious family. My older brother is so athletic, and his natural metabolism is so fast that he used to lose five pounds in his sleep. IN HIS SLEEP. I can't lose five pounds even I diet for a month. I gain weight just by looking at bread. I've never really been 'overweight', but for someone who stand 5'1", if you weigh a normal weight it looks like you weigh a lot more, simply because there isn't as much body to distribute that weight to. Now, a lot of my weight is muscle because I did karate for 12 years, but ever since I stopped I kind of lost a little muscle tone. Swimsuit season, people. I want to look good when I go to Israel! There are some hot guys going on my trip!
3. My intellect. I am going to try to explain this one without sounding pretentious, because talking about something like intelligence often has the capacity to stray into that area. I am a know-it-all. I'm that kid that loves to know that they are right. I correct people when they say words wrong. I'm that kid. But the problem is that while I am intelligent, that intelligence doesn't spread evenly over all subject matter. I'm very good at languages and history, and a little more than slightly less good at maths and science. The problem with this completely normal problem is that I hold myself to such high standards that I simply cannot allow failure. I got a C for the first time ever last quarter. And believe me, I'm beating myself up more than anyone else is.
4. My nose. I have been told multiple times by multiple people that my nose isn't big. It just is big to me. It's one of those things that I will never be okay with, simply because I can't do anything about it. Before anyone tells me that I could get a nose job if I so chose, let me tell you how doctors perform rhinoplasties. First, they have to break your nose and take out the excess cartilage. Then they reshape the remaining cartilage by shaving it down. Excuse me if I don't do that to my face.
5. My fear that no one likes me. I have friends, friends that would do anything for me. But with acquaintances, I'm never really sure if they like me or just tolerate me. Because by all accounts of humanity I can be annoying. Sometimes I have to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself to stop being such a freak, because I wig out way too much. I know that it is completely irrational for me to feel this way, but I still do.
I only want to list five because I don't want to bore you all. But believe you me, there are more.
But that's okay. It's okay to be insecure. It's okay to feel awkward in your own skin. Because the odds are everyone else feels the same way that you do about themselves. So embrace your insecurities. Tell them that it's okay. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel the way you feel.
Then come find me and we can be insecure together. We'll have a grand old time, I promise.
Here is the video.
Hope you enjoy it and I hope it makes you examine yourself for a second and then feel better about yourself as well. That's what it did for me.
As always, love and kisses,
Jen
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