APRIL 30: HOLY PANTS, AMIGOS, I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!

GUYSSSS!!!!!!  OH MY SWEET BABY JESUS!!!!!

DUDES I ACTUALLY FINISHED SOMETHING FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!  I DON'T THINK THAT ANY OF YOU CAN FULLY APPRECIATE HOW RARE AN OCCASION THIS IS!!!!!

Now, I would happy dance, but I am currently unable to do so.

I'll happy dance tomorrow.

Tonight I'm just going to get a good night's rest, and relish in the fact that I don't have to blog tomorrow.

Yay hooray and three cheers for Merry England!

Or Massachusetts.

Whatever.

I'm going to bed.

Love and kisses, fooligans.

Jen

HEYO WHAT IS THIS!!!!

Being the kind of kid who doesn't really like doing homework at normal times, it is 9:30 on Sunday and I've not done a drop.  Hoo-freaking-ray.  Anyfloozle, I thought I'd share a milestone with all y'all.

*drum roll please*

.........

I HAVE FIFTY FOLLOWERS!!!!

WHAT UP YO!!!

My blog's first birthday is around the corner and I have fifty followers.  If I've accomplished anything this year, I'd say this was pretty good.  So thank you to everyone who reads this twaddle and thanks to all of my bloggy-type mates.  I luff you all to pieces.

God, I'm sentimental.

Thank you oh so very much.  It means more than you think it does to have people who will read this and say 'Hey that wasn't too bad.'  I fully expect all of you to buy my book if it ever gets published.  I'm watching you *glares at you over the internet*

Just kidding (NOT REALLY MUAHAHAHA)

God.  I love you all and stuff.  Put caramel on top of this love sundae and I'm omnomnom it on down.

Okay, I'm done wittering on about absolutely nothing.

FIN.

Parting Joke:

My grandmother is a Cancer, which is ironic because she was actually killed by a giant crab.

Geddit?

Love and kisses,

Jen

Sorry That I Haven't Posted In A While, Lovelypoos...

It's just that I've been mad busy and stuff, being a teenager and all that jazz.

I got a callback for my school play, so that's good!

I froze my butt off at a football game yesterday, and I slammed my knee into one of the drums.  I have a bruise the size of Kansas.  Quite enjoyable. Really.  I love not being able to bend my knee *SARCASM*.

Watch this.

I don't care if you don't like Doctor Who, or the Proclaimers.  You will love this video or I will find you and make you love it.  Well that sounded sufficiently rape-y, so...

You like jazz?

I digress.

Anyway, so now that I've shared that...What did I do today?  I was a cool kid.  I went to an Academic Decathlon Qualifying Test.  We didn't make it, but still.  Fun experience. 

Funny story of my awkwardness commencing.  We were exiting the theater where the orientation had been given, and I just noticed that the walls, I kid you not, were hung with chain mail drapery.  Chain mail drapery!  Do you know how amazingly wonderful and weird that is?  Very, is the answer.  If you didn't answer as such, go die in a hole.  Chain mail is freaking awesome.  Anyway, I noticed, and I had a mini freak out over how awesome it was.  I kept poking it and telling my friends Aniket and Ryan how cool it was, and how they should touch it.  Then the guy who was facilitating our test taps me on the shoulder, and said "You do know that you are being filmed, don't you?"

THERE WAS A VIDEOGRAPHER RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOORWAY WATCHING ME HAVE A ME-TYPE MOMENT WITH THE CHAIN MAIL DRAPES!!!!!

Oh, Moses and the Israelites I was SO embarrassed.  I couldn't stop giggling and my face went beet red.  (I don't get that phrase.  Beets are pink.)  My face when beet pink, then, brain.  Blushed like a blushing thing that blushes.  It was what I was meant to do.  Baby I was born this way!  Enough.

So embarrassing.

Oh, and it gets weirder!  On our way out after the test was over, I saw the same videographer!  And he smiled oh so creepily at me.  I very nearly flipped him off.  But I didn't.  Because that would have put me in the 'Not Normal' category, and that category was probably the only one that my team won.  We were all cashe, in like jeans and t-shirts.  Ryan was wearing sweat pants.  Everyone else there was wearing like matching shirts and button downs with ties and dress shoes.  Ultimate nobheads.  Seriously.  So I didn't flip off the videographer, no matter how dearly I wanted to.  I restrained.  I'm a lady.  Mostly.

So I have callbacks for the play tomorrow.  I'm excited, but at the same time kind of nervous.  First time I've ever gotten callbacks before, so this is entirely new for me.  I guess it means that my directors finally think that I'm good enough to be something other than extra number five.  Which would be awesome.  Really truly awesome.  So wish me luck, lovelypoos!

Here is a song for you all to listen to.  I want reviews in the comments.  Keep in mind, I love this song, so don't say anything mean or I will write nasty things about your cat.

Henrietta, The Fratellis

LOVE LOVE LOVE this song.  I love that whole cd.  And that band.  So, enjoy!

Parting Joke:
Two women walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle. One sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it. "That's nice, isn't it?" Sharon said waving her arm under her friend's nose. "Yeah. What's it called?" "Viens a moi." "Viens a moi? What's that mean?" A clerk offered some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'" Sharon took another sniff. "That doesn't smell like come to me," she said, offering her arm to her friend again. "Does that smell like come to you?"

Enjoy!

Best wishes!

Love and kisses,

L.

MORE LINKS TO CLICK!!! CLICK THEM CLICK THEM CLICK THEM!!!!

You know how I wrote that thing about glee give a note?

And how if you clicked the link I would give you a place in my government when I take over the world?  Something like that?

Yeah, that still applies.

CLICKY THE LINKY!

CLICK ME I'M A LINK!

But in addition to helping my school win some cashola for music, and you all know how important music is, I'm giving you lovelypoos another link to click.  And you will hear the sound of my voice for possibly the first time.  Grab onto your socks, pants, hats, anything that could be blown off, because I am about to BLOW YOUR MIND.

Click this and follow the sound of my voice.

I appear at I think around the 1 minute mark.  Be forewarned - I was not told that I would be used for filming that day, so I'm wearing no makeup and my acorn hat.  You will see why I call it an acorn hat if you click the link.  You will also see that I'm really bad at improvising. 

But I thought you might enjoy this.  My school is quite hilarious.  I'm proud to be part of the band! Even if we are clumsy.   You will get it if you click the link!  Promise!

That's right.

I'm in the band!

Love and kisses,

L.

P.S. That thing about the squirrel?  Not a lie.  If you click the link, you will know what I'm talking about!

P.P.S.  The pads bit made my think of sanitary pads.  It was awkward, because it is funny, and if you think of that, it makes it funnier.  CLICKTHELINKIFYOUWANTTOKNOWWHATIMTALKINGABOUT!!!!

P.P.S.  I really want you to click the link, can you tell?  Because 1.  I want you to like my school and vote for us for the glee thing, and 2. I want you to see that I'm an awkward awkwarder who likes to awkward and that I'm wearing a hat.  And that I exist.  So, click the links, yeah?

I Feel So Wonderful Right Now

And I really do.  I really truly do.  Mentally.  Physically I've had a headache the size of Kansas all day, and psychologically I feel inferior to the huge pile of winter clothing that is sitting on my floor, glaring at me.  Well, not glaring, since it is just a pile of clothing and therefore doesn't have eyes with which to glare at me.  MOVING ON!

One reason I'm feeling so happy is that I've found a new comedian to love.  His name is Russell Howard and he is BLOODY HILARIOUS.  And British.  Which just makes him awesome.  Case in point, click here.  LAUGH HYSTERICALLY.  "I said no such thing."  What a genius.  Where did I find this guy?  BBC America.  Because I am a loser and I watched TV last night until midnight, watching this comedy show.  And thank God I did, or I'd have missed this guy.  And he's hilarious.  For real.  Click my link.  You know you want to. *Seductive face.*  Oh god, that was so intentionally dirty.  And in related news, in the same TV show, I saw Danny Bhoy, who is a Scottish comedian who is hilarious as well.  I don't have any links for him. But you should look him up.  He's quite funny.

Another reason I'm so happy is that I have ice on my head.  In a lovely little ice-pack called Betty.  Have I mentioned Betty?  (I literally just checked my old blog posts for ten minutes trying to find Betty and I couldn't.  So, I've apparently never mentioned her.) Betty is my ice pack.  She is lovely.  And cold.

Another reason I'm happy is that I've finally eaten.  It was a homemade mashed potatoes, corn and popcorn chicken.  With cranberry sauce!  Nomnomnom.  Now I'm not starving to death.


Another reason is that I realized that my father is a hipster.  He drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon.  It explains all of my hipster tendencies.


And the last reason I'm feeling wonderful is that I've jumped from 19 followers to 28 followers in a week.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR FOLLOWING!!!!


Parting joke:

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Amy!
Amy who?
Amy fraid this is the wrong house!  I don't know you, either!

Love and kisses,

L.