I Climbed This Whole Mountain

And look where it got me.  Absolutely nowhere.

Hello all.  And hello to my new followers!  All of you are brilliant, and thank you.  Though, I doubt that people regularly read this, considering the fact that there are 75 of you, and I only average about 5 views on a post.  No matter.  I love you regardless.  It is unconditional love, like the love a parent has for their child, or the love that I have for pizza, or Nutella, or you!

Anyway, as this year rounds out, I figured I would make another post before my obligatory post about the new year.

I really have no idea where I'm taking this, but I feel like after the heavy post I did a few days ago, which is here, I needed to lighten things up with some rambling.  My URL, after all, is ramblingzombies.blogspot.com, and what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't hearken back to my roots every once in a while.  I mean, in the beginning, I really had no idea where I wanted this blog to go, and to be honest, if I had any artistic integrity, I would delete half of the posts I've made in the past.  Because, damn, was I annoying, mother of pearl.  But, I feel for the Jennelle that wrote those.  She was developing an online persona, and to be frank, it needed a little molding.  She and I are one, obviously.  It's not like I have 15 year old Jennelle cloned and tucked away in my closet.  Because that would be creepy. *cough*

Well, getting back on topic, it's funny to look back on my old posts.  I was so little.  So naive.  Not saying that I'm not naive now, because I still am, but I'm older.  I've had more life experience.  More time on the planet.  It's like looking in on a little sibling, watching them grow up.  It's like I didn't know what to write about.  I think I wanted to be an informative blog, but that died pretty quickly.  Then I went through a very vulgar phase.  And then I found a happy medium and I guess that brings us up to now.  It is interesting to reread what I was thinking in the past.  Sometimes I cringe, but other times I find small strokes of brilliance, and that is always reassuring.

It's been nearly two years since I've started this blog, which is ridiculous to think about.  I've kept with something for two whole years without giving up.  Sure, I've taken breaks, and been AWOL, but I've always come back.  I think it is because this is a place where I can write about what I think and have people give me their opinions.  And opinions are a great thing to have, especially when they come from someone else.

What is also great about having a blog is meeting friends.  You are all my bloggy-type mates, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!  I've made some really good friends through blogging, like Peter, who is seriously up there in my list of friends (speaking of Peter, I owe him a letter.  How about you drop by his blog and distract him while I write it?).  I never would have met him if it wasn't for the Internet.  And I wouldn't have met Allyson, Yana, Lex, or Izzy, either, and I love all of them to bits.  The5LightningScars, anyone?  We still exist, if only in your hearts.  Or maybe in real life if we could all find some time.  Or Gabi, who is my NaNoWriMo buddy.  Or Ash, who always writes thoughtful comments on my blogs.  Or Christopher, who writes amazing poetry and makes me laugh.  I may not say it a lot, but you guys make this worth it, because I know that you guys have made me a better person simply because you exist.  And that is a wonderful thing.

I was talking with Peter yesterday, and we had a natural lull in conversation, but if you are using facebook chat or some other form of textual communication, natural lulls seem anything but.  Human beings like to fill the silence.  But then I said something that I am honestly proud of, because it describes perfectly how I feel about friendship, and the friends I have made online.

"That's the thing about being friends.  It's alright if we talk about a whole lot of nothing, because all of that nothing still means a whole lot." -Jennelle Barosin.

Hell yeah, check out that original quote.

In all honesty though, thank you, all of you, for putting up with my whole lot of nothing for nearly two years.  It's meant more to me than you can imagine.

Wow, I meant to make this light and funny, and it turned into something heavy and deep!  WHAT AM I DOING WHO AM I WHAT IS THIS -

Alright, I'm done.

Here is a picture of a baby buffalo to lighten the mood.  Look at that major cutie!  He's even jumping!

If I don't make a post before New Year's, have a happy one you guys.

Love and kisses and best wishes,

Jen

So... Hi There... I'm Back... Again...

I was in Israel.

I've already used that.

I was fighting robots in Vietnam.

No, that is a complete and utter lie.

I was doing my AP US History work and it is really

Not a complete lie, but come on, just tell the truth.

*sigh*

Hi guys.  It's been a while, hasn't it?

The truth is I have no good reason for why I haven't been blogging.  To be honest, I just haven't been feeling all that inspired.  But, with school starting soon, and a schedule forming, I think I'll get back on track with blogs appearing more frequently.

I do miss writing.  I did a bit of it over the summer, not as much as I should have.  I read way more than I wrote.  But, like I said, with school rapidly approaching, I'll definitely be writing more.

I do apologize for disappearing.  I just didn't want to write something that wasn't good.

Maybe I'll show you guys some of my journals from my trip eventually.  That would be cool, no?

So what have you guys been up to?  I literally haven't been doing anything, as stated before.  I've been doing AP work.  I've been on Tumblr (I'm addicted.  It's unhealthy.).  I've been doing yoga.  Generally, I've just been very lazy.  Hooray for summer.  But I have seven days left.  I have to finish my AP work lickety split, and I do have quite a bit left, which is my own fault.

Other than that, I'm pretty stoked for Junior year.  It's the hardest year, but I have a plan to make sure that I get through it in one semi-coherent piece.  I'm going to rock it.  Or I think I will.  Here's hoping right?

Oh, and Doctor Who comes back on Saturday!  I'm so excited!

I know that this is a sucky blog, but we all have to get back into the scene somehow.  It's like a bicycle.  You have to fall a few times before you remember how to ride.

Love and kisses,

Jen

Let's Do This Blogging Thing, Shall We?

ARGH I AM SO SORRY THAT I AM NOT DOING THINGS FOR YOU!!!!
It's like I've had nothing to write about.  Which, logistically, after writing every day for thirty days, makes sense.  I took all of my good ideas and used them up.  That is what has happened to me.  I am a used up paper napkin, a piece of trash in the wind.
It's late; can you tell?
I have state testing tomorrow.
Bad news: it takes up two hours of my life that I could be spending actually learning things that are relevant to my future.
Good news: once I'm finished tomorrow, I never have to take state tests again!  YES THANK THE GODS.
Honestly.  The questions that they ask have to be able to be answered by those with all levels of intelligence, so that means that if you have half a brain inside of your skull, then most of the questions are an insult to your IQ.  Not even a joke, the math that I had to do today could be done by a seventh grader.  I could have taken that test in seventh grade and passed it with flying colors.
I just have to console myself that I will never have to take them again.  Also, if you do really well on them you can get scholarships to state schools.  Not that that is applicable to me, since I don't intend on staying in Massachusetts.  Not even remotely close.
It's been raining here for about three weeks now.  If it rains any more you're going to have to start calling me Noah and rounding up the animals two by two.  Ugh, I'm going to end up tearing my hair out of my head.
My older brother is graduating on Sunday.  I don't know what to do with myself.  Part of me is really jealous that he is finally finished and can move on with his life and part of me is scared because I'm next.  I only have two more years left in high school, and if this year was any indication, they won't be very long years.  I miss being little and feeling like minutes were hours.  Now it feels like minutes are seconds and my life is just flying by.  I always say I can't wait to get out of my town, and I can't, but at the same time I really don't want to grow up.  Someone text Peter Pan.  I want a one way trip to Neverland.
Hey, at least if I'm there I don't have to take state tests.  And that would be a blessing.
Okay fooligans, here's the scoop. I'm going to try a writing schedule.  I'll alternate weeks, 1 week with posts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and 1 week with posts on Tuesday and Thursday.  That way, I'm motivating myself to write and keeping the creative juices flowing.  Juices.  That is a weird word.
Okay, I need to go to bed.  I have tests in the morning.
Shoot me.
Love and kisses,
Jen

Ready For Your Mind To Be BLOWN?!

Well, here is a short tale with a thrilling conclusion that will without a doubt leave you sitting with your mouth hanging open, questioning my sanity.  If you don't do that all the time reading this blog anyways.

So, do any of you watch the show How I Met Your Mother?  I do.  Obsessively.  I love it.  It is one of my favorite shows on television, because it never fails at making me laugh.  The characters are so down to earth and the stories they tell sound so plausible.  Weirdly enough, watching that show gives me hope that I'll end up living a life like that, with crazy stories and crazy friends.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Anyways, my favorite character (as it is for most people) is Barney Stinson.  A picture.

True story.

Anyways, he is the craziest character on a show full of crazy characters.  He is insane, childlike, likes to wear suits and use his imagination to get women to sleep with him.  And last night when I was watching a rerun, a thought hit me.

Well, it didn't so much as hit me and forcibly drill a way into my skull until my eyes widened in shock.

You guys know Calvin and Hobbes, right?

Calvin, mischievous, likes to play pranks, uses his wild imagination to do crazy things?

Cute.

Anyways, here is my thought.  It will blow your mind.

BARNEY STINSON IS A GROWN UP CALVIN.

Blond hair, insane, really wild imagination.  Able to wax poetic.

It's totally plausible.

So there is my thought.  It's crazy isn't it?

Is your mouth hanging open yet?

Love and kisses,

Jen

April 28: My Room Is Freakishly Clean and Organized, Among Other Things

I will be the first to admit that I have a serious aversion to cleanliness.  Or rather, I don't like cleaning, but I like things to be clean.  I just suck at it.

Anyways, I like to keep my room in a state of what I refer to as organized chaos and what my mother refers to as the biggest pig sty she has ever seen.  Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto.  To each their own.

But I kind of went on the fritz today and really cleaned, like actually cleaned.  It was bizarre.  And now my room is really clean.  And organized.

Guys, I organized my sock drawer.  It was crazy.  It just kind of got into my head and took over.  Bizarre times a million.

Like, you can actually see my desk.  I'm typing this sitting at my desk.  Something is wrong, honestly.  Normally I write these on my bed, sitting in a really strange but comfortable position with my feet tucked into my duvet.

Actually, that sounds really nice.

One moment.

Okay, now I'm in my bed, with my feet under my duvet, sitting in really strange but comfortable position.  It's nice and cozy.  And warm.  My house is freezing, for reasons unknown.  It's like as soon as April hits my parents turn off the thermostats.  It isn't even that nice out.  Right now it's about 35 degrees outside.  Well, actually, I lied, it's about 50 degrees, but it feels the same!  I am sensitive to cold.  Poor circulation does that.  In fact, my feet look kind of purple right now and are freezing.  So are my hands.

I actually went to the doctor's for this once.  I was getting sick of how cold my hands were.  Turns out that there is nothing that you can do about it.  Although, one doctor I saw suggested that I get these heating cuff things to keep my hands warm that looked exactly like Wonder Woman cuffs.  I really wanted to get them for that reason alone, but my mom said no.

My mother.  Killing all of my dreams about becoming a superhero.

Sometimes I feel really lonely, you know?  Take today for instance.  No one texted me today.  Like not even a hello.  Not even to see if I was still alive.  Now I know that this is easily remedied by me picking up my cell phone and texting people, but I'm a lazy person.  So don't feel any pity for me.  None.  I can sense you pitying me, and you shouldn't.  I'm just a lazy bum of a person who hasn't gotten out of their jim-jams all day.  A lazy bum who really needs to do their laundry.  It's getting ridiculous.  It's overflowing.  An avalanche of clothes is teetering, threatening to collapse and fill my room.  THE HORROR!  ONE WRONG MOVE COULD BE THE LAST MOVE I MAKE!

I'm done, I swear.

I have three days left until BEDA is over.  It's going to be weird not blogging every day.  I kind of liked the whole creating things, though trying to come up with thirty consecutive days of entertaining entertainment (who'd have thunk entertainment would be entertaining? Boggles the mind.) is hard, man.  I have lots of respect for people who do that now.  I had respect for them before but now I have loads more.  Loads and loads.

I have to go, there is a heating pad that is calling my name.  He looks like a zebra and his name is Harold.

Love and kisses,

Jen

April 24: The Things I Like About Myself

A few days ago I treated you guys to a list of the reasons why I am a pathetic sobbing mess who never does... Wait... That isn't right, is it?  The list I showed you guys was the list about the things that I don't like about myself.  My insecurities.  Well, now that that sob story is over, I decided that I would list some of the things that I like about myself.  Not only as something to write for BEDA, but also to remind myself that despite it all, I have managed to not suck as a human being for the past seventeen years I've been on this earth.

So, let's-a-go!

Jennelle's List Of Things About Her That Don't Suck
1. My eyebrows.  I have been blessed by the eyebrow gods, fooligans.  I have to do the bare minimum on my eyebrows to make them look decent, e.g. plucking the middle so I don't get a unibrow.  But other than that, I have perfect eyebrows.  Not to brag, or anything. *cough*

2.  My taste in music.  Yeah, I know, I sound like a smug, pretentious hipster, but I really am proud of the music that I listen to.  I will listen to almost anything, barring country and gangsta rap.  But barring those two genres, I will listen to anything.  And I am proud of that.

3.  My writing ability.  I have been writing and telling stories and developing my writing 'voice' since I could write.  So basically for the last fourteen years of my life.  I'm proud of that fact and I'm proud of myself for never giving up on my ability to write.

4.  My ability to procure results under pressure due to procrastination.  Self explanatory.  I get my shit done, yo.

5.  My sense of humor.  It's sarcastic and self-deprecating and witty and I love the fact that I can make people laugh.

6.  My ability to recall things very easily.  I have amazing recall for random bits of trivia, quotes, and plots of books or movies.  I really enjoy that.  It's like really bad photographic memory.

7.  My friends.  Though technically not a part of me, I would not be who I was without them, so I don't care.  For all I know, they really are a part of me.  I've known them all long enough to have been fused to them at the hip.

So there you have it.  7 things about me that don't suck.  Sorry if this sounds braggy; it's very hard to come up with things to say for thirty days straight.

I need to go sleep.  I don't do that enough.

Love and kisses,

Jen

April 23: Vloggity Vlog Type Vlog

Hey there fooligans.  I was really tired today and I didn't feel all that well so I vlogged.  For the first time ever!  Hope you enjoy my face!

Love and kisses,

Jen

Edit: I apologize for the weird whistle-y s's.  It's my computer's microphone.  It's kind of bad.  Apologies!

April 19: I Fell Asleep

I am very tired, so this is going to be really short.  This BEDA thing is hard shit, you know?  I have so much stuff to do, and so little time to do it.

So yeah.

I fell asleep at 8 o'clock on a Thursday.  That is unheard of.  And I only woke up to pee just now before I remembered I had to blog.  Well, not had to, more ought to. Either way, here I am.

I killed a spider last night in the most violent way possible.  I swear to God the thing looked like a Black Widow; it had the right spots along the back and it looked like it had an hourglass on the belly.  I panicked and killed the thing with my math textbook.  I figured that I had the right to kill it.  One, I'm a severe arachnophobe and two, the freaking thing was HUGE.  And it wouldn't die.  I had to smash it eight times before it finally gave up and died.  Now I'm vacuuming every crevice of my room.   I don't want any spider infestations and spiders like that  usually have egg sacs that I'm not willing to have open in my room.

I wrote more than I thought I would.  Gold star for me!

Well, I'm off to bed again.  Nighty nighty.

Love and kisses,

Jen

April 10: I Know Hearing About My Play Is Boring, But..

...no one is holding a gun to your head telling you to click on this blog post.  Unless someone is.  In which case, do click!  It ups my views and also saves your life!  Win-win!

So I am literally sentences away from finishing my play.

CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

(off in the distance) WHAT WHAT!

Thank you small, fictional person off in the distance.

I feel really awesome right now.

I've never finished anything before.  I always lose interest or flake out before I finish, and it makes me feel like a worthless loser, but now I can say that I've finished something, God Dammit, and it is a God Damn good something to boot!

Apparently my school is going to bring it to the Spring Drama Festival, which is like competitive theater.  My play!  My play!  Like, what is going on, you guys?!

I am so excited I could spew.  But I won't.

Well, off to do the homework that I've neglected.

Love and kisses,

Jen

My Inner Monologue Seems to Want to Be Its Own Entity

I have a strange issue that I am going to share with you all today.  It isn't unlike all of the other strange things I've told you guys before.  Ready?  Let's-a go.

I can't keep my inner monologue inner.  I think things and then they just end up coming out of my mouth.  I try to keep them inside but my cheeks and tongue and vocal chords work against me.  I bet everyone in my school thinks that I am an annoying cow who can't keep her gob shut.   And they would be right.  Except for the cow bit.  I'm not a cow.

And it's especially bad because my inner monologue speaks in a British accent, because 1. British accents and 2. Having a British person yelling at you to get off of Tumblr and do you chemistry homework is way more fun than having your regular voice tell you to do the above action.

I have no life.

So I've decided to do BEDA, because why not?  I have so much homework, and so much other stuff to do, the least I could do for myself is give myself a distraction from said activities which I can reconcile in my brain as something that is important.  So here is my condoned distraction.  Tumblr, however, does not get that treatment.  There will be no Tumblr.  Do you hear that brain? DO YOU?! I DON'T THINK YOU DO!  NO GOD DAMN TUMBLR UNTIL ALL OF YOUR SHIT IS TOGETHER!!!

Okay, I'm done yelling and swearing.  There will be no more of that.

But here is my first BEDA post.  Really, BEDA is just another test I'm giving myself to prove to myself that I can finish things and that not finishing things is not a defining characteristic of mine.  So there, inner monologue! Chew on that for a bit!

*far away, deep within the -quite honestly- disturbing and scary recesses of my mind* I WILL, GOD DAMN YOU!

Hey, I said I was finished yelling and swearing.  I never vouched for the crazy posh Englishman living in my head.

Toodleloo and tararara!

Happy April Fools'!

Love and kisses,

Jen