April 24: The Things I Like About Myself

A few days ago I treated you guys to a list of the reasons why I am a pathetic sobbing mess who never does... Wait... That isn't right, is it?  The list I showed you guys was the list about the things that I don't like about myself.  My insecurities.  Well, now that that sob story is over, I decided that I would list some of the things that I like about myself.  Not only as something to write for BEDA, but also to remind myself that despite it all, I have managed to not suck as a human being for the past seventeen years I've been on this earth.

So, let's-a-go!

Jennelle's List Of Things About Her That Don't Suck
1. My eyebrows.  I have been blessed by the eyebrow gods, fooligans.  I have to do the bare minimum on my eyebrows to make them look decent, e.g. plucking the middle so I don't get a unibrow.  But other than that, I have perfect eyebrows.  Not to brag, or anything. *cough*

2.  My taste in music.  Yeah, I know, I sound like a smug, pretentious hipster, but I really am proud of the music that I listen to.  I will listen to almost anything, barring country and gangsta rap.  But barring those two genres, I will listen to anything.  And I am proud of that.

3.  My writing ability.  I have been writing and telling stories and developing my writing 'voice' since I could write.  So basically for the last fourteen years of my life.  I'm proud of that fact and I'm proud of myself for never giving up on my ability to write.

4.  My ability to procure results under pressure due to procrastination.  Self explanatory.  I get my shit done, yo.

5.  My sense of humor.  It's sarcastic and self-deprecating and witty and I love the fact that I can make people laugh.

6.  My ability to recall things very easily.  I have amazing recall for random bits of trivia, quotes, and plots of books or movies.  I really enjoy that.  It's like really bad photographic memory.

7.  My friends.  Though technically not a part of me, I would not be who I was without them, so I don't care.  For all I know, they really are a part of me.  I've known them all long enough to have been fused to them at the hip.

So there you have it.  7 things about me that don't suck.  Sorry if this sounds braggy; it's very hard to come up with things to say for thirty days straight.

I need to go sleep.  I don't do that enough.

Love and kisses,

Jen

April 16: I Am Out Of Original Ideas To Write, So Here Is Part of A Short Story

Yeah, I know that I'm lazy, but I have nothing, and it's late, and I'm tired.  So I'm being lazy.  Deal with it.  I wrote this last year when I was ignoring my English teacher.  This is the unedited first third or so.  So enjoy it.  Or don't.  It's your choice.  Tomorrow, I promise I will write something original and inspired.

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The song playing when I died was ‘Hands Down’, by Dashboard Confessional.  It wasn’t my favorite by them, but it was a good song.  I died right at the climax, with the crashing guitars and the drums beating a hole through reality.

                Funny thing is, one of the lines is ‘die happy’.  Ironic old world, isn’t it?

                Well.

      Where to begin?

                I’m sure that you want to know how I died.  That will come later, I promise.  What’s the point of a murder mystery without the murder?  I’m sure you want to know who I am, how I died.  Why this all happened to me.  Truth is, I have no idea why me.  But the who and the how I can answer.

                My name was Lilly.  I used to live at 1225 Sycamore, by the old Gunderson place.  My parents still live there.  I was 16 and 3 weeks when I died.  Well.  I didn’t die.  I was murdered.  They closed the case ten years ago.

                It all started on a Tuesday, which is my least favorite day of the week.  It’s annoying, and just so… there.  Tuesday, the forgotten day.  This Tuesday wasn’t just any annoying Tuesday, though.  No, this Tuesday was my last day of Driver’s Ed.  So, even though it was just an annoying Tuesday, at least something good was coming out of it.

                I took Driver’s Ed at Deluca’s Driving School, you know the place, over on Route One, by that shut down pizza joint?  You want to know why that pizza place was shut down?  Rats.  Fun fact.

                I took Driver’s Ed with two friends, Julia and Ash.

                “I’m so excited!” squealed Julia, jumping up and down.  She was always easily excitable.  I think she’s an anchor on a morning show now.

                “Yeah” I said, “two weeks and then I can drive a car legally!”  Wait, I didn’t say that.  Ash did.  I said “I’m so pumped for this.  I can’t wait to turn 16!”

                It was an almost-autumn evening in September; my birthday was the 27^th.  I was a school baby.  Before Daylight Saving’s Time, it stays light for a really long time around here.  We were outside Deluca’s waiting for Ash’s brother to come pick us up.  It was warm with just a whisper of a chill in the air.  The perfect almost-autumn evening.  Then, of course, came the car.

                It was an absolutely beautiful car, a deep, cherry red Camaro.  Absolute mint condition.  Windows rolled down, and a person inside.  Eyes hidden behind shades straight out of the Matrix, I had a feeling that this boy was more beautiful than any other person on the planet.

                Isn’t it always about a guy?

                The boy in the Camaro rolled past, and he looked at the three of us, standing there in our just acceptable shorts and strappy tank tops.  Three young idiots, just standing there.  I remember thinking that he stared directly at me, but if you asked Ash or Julia, they’d say that he was ‘totally staring at me’ too.  It was so long ago for them, but to me it just feels like a month.

                Funny how time passes.

                So, Camaro guy rolls past and eyes us like cattle, three stupid girls.

                Me being the stupidest, I waved.

                And he waved back.

                “Oh my sweet baby Jesus!” exhaled Julia, the exclamation sounding like one big word.  OhmysweetbabyJesus.  Then Julia crossed herself like a good Christian.  Ash and I laughed like loons.  Julia was always doing stuff like that.  A good Christian girl pretending to be a rebel pretending to be a good Christian girl.  One mask on top of another, layers and layers until you got to her sweet nougat center.  Julia really is a good person.  Overly excitable to a fault, but she did well for herself.

                Ash, on the other hand, well.  Ash was a true rebel without a cause.  She was wearing leather shorts (a crime against fashion on some, but not on Ash, never on Ash) and a red top with lace cutouts.  You know, whatchacallems.  Peekaboo cutouts.  She wore her hair as orange as a flame and yet was on high honor roll.  Parents loved her positive influence on their kids when she tutored them.  Guys couldn’t wait to get into her pants.  She lived her best years in high school, I think.  She’s a homemaker now.  Never left town.  Lives over on Grove Avenue.

                “Lilly!” Ash said, grinning. I swear, the biggest girly girl lurked somewhere in those leather pants.  “He waved at us!  He must have been at least nineteen!”

                “He was a total babe,” I allowed. 

What I was really thinking was how much I wanted to just jump into that Camaro and drive off, screw the consequences.

                Irony, people, cosmic irony.

                But I’m stepping ahead of myself.  I need to slow down.  After all, I have all eternity

                Well, I do.  You don’t.  Let’s go back again, shall we?

                "Guys," said Julia, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "We should stalk him!"

"Jules, we don't have a clue who that is!  But how would one got about stalking him?" I ask, my interest getting the better of me

"Well, he may not be nineteen; he may go to our school.  You never know, he could be a transfer."  Julia nodded wisely. She had her fake 'I Am the Wise Woman of the Forest' look on.  But what she said made sense.  We had a really good school and we got a lot of transfers back then.  Before, well, let me keep going.

"We are so going to find this guy!" laughed Ash, clapping.

It was at that moment that Carter rolled up.  Carter was Ash's older brother, and my secret crush.  I had liked him for years, and we had sort of had a thing once, but nothing came out of it.  Carter wanted to be, you know, official, but I still felt weird.  I mean, Ash was my best friend.  I didn’t want to do anything that would mess up our friendship.   So I stopped it.  Carter said he would wait for me.  I never thought that he’d have to wait so long.

He smiled at us, his eyes lingering on me as he slowed to a park.  He was our main form of transportation since he wasn’t in college.  His mother said that if he wasn’t being productive in the real world he at least had to be productive in their household.  Truth be told, I don’t think he minded that much.  Carter’s really productive now.  Like federal agent productive.

“Hey ladies.” Carter, back then, had long Jesus-esque hair and amazingly blue eyes.  His beat up sedan looked especially shabby next to the Camaro that had just rolled past, but there was something that felt like home about it.  We all piled in.  Carter smiled his sleepy, Kurt-Cobain rocker boy smile at me, and I smiled back.  This was our secret smile, one that held a promise.

I had known Ash and Carter for practically my whole life.  Ash and I had been friends since kindergarten, and I had grown up with Carter as well.  He was three years older, nineteen.  Labeled a burnout by everybody in town, he had taken a gap year from college, said he was trying to figure things out.  I bet he laughed in everyone’s faces when he got into the FBI.  He’s the kind of person that finds endless pleasure in proving people wrong.

But all of that comes later.

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So the editing got messed up on my blog.  I'm too tired to fix it.  Blehhh.  The place that I sent my script to was supposed to email me today saying that they got my script. And they should have!  I sent it express!  It would have got there by Saturday!  So that's why I couldn't think of anything original and hilarious.  I am a little preoccupied with worrying my brains out.  Stupid stupid stupid contest.  Murrr.

Anyways, I hope everyone's Mondays were awesome.  Mine was good.  I went for a bike ride and I got a sunburn!  For me this is good! If I start getting colour this early, I might actually tan this year!  Here's hoping.

Love and kisses,

Jen