Yeah... I'm Kind of Crap At This Whole 'Blogging' Thing

So I apologize to anyone who reads my blog, because it has been a week and a half, almost a fortnight, and I haven't posted a thing.  So.  Here is me, apologizing.  To make up for it I will post adorable pictures of seals, and maybe a picture of me.  O.O

Here is me, being sad.  But instead of me, you have a sad seal.  A very sad, adorable seal who is very very sorry for not posting.

Here is me, happy that maybe some of you will care.  Happy seal is happy.  How can you say no to a face like that.  Oh my god, I just want to snorgle it and love it forever and ever.
Yeah, I said snorgle.  Deal with it.
Many things have happened in the week and a half that I didn't talk to all y'all.
Not really, I just wanted to type that sentence.  Don't judge me.
I am on vacation now, so, I have time to lounge around and do nothing.  Which is false, because right now I am in the midst of planning a novel.  I love how inspiration for a novel doesn't come during November.  I could have won NaNoWriMo.  But noooo, my brain has to get creative four months after.
Truth be told, I am really okay with this.  I really like the idea I have right now and I want to make it the best that I can.  I am actually combining my new idea with an idea that I had years ago.  So long ago that the character names are written on my desk.  But I'm not stealing the characters.  Just the idea.  The characters weren't fleshed out.  The idea was pretty good though.

Here is another picture. I feel obligated to post them to keep you guys reading, since I'm being a boring old fart today.
Everytime I look at that photo, I die laughing.  This is me, as a ghost, typing to you.  I want to write more, but nothing interesting has happened to me as of late, but that could change.  Keep in touch ya crazy kids.
One more picture, for good measure.

Get it? Moustache, must dash?

I fail.

Anyfloozle, I love all of you to bits and pieces, which I will then consume to get closer to your love.  Anomanomanomanom.

Love and kisses,

L.

Happy New Year, Fooligans! Sorry About the Absence; I Was Dancing With Lemurs In Madagascar

I wasn't really dancing with lemurs in Madagascar.  I was just being a lazy thing that is very lazy and not communicating with all y'all!  But have no fear, I am back in this new year and I am funnier than ever!

Well.  The funnier than ever comment might be subjective, because of course I think that I'm hilarious, being a narcissistic non-midget with an ego bigger than the entirety of Canada.  The rest of you might just find me a sad example on what happens to people when they spend too much time playing Words With Friends and not enough time interacting with leaving, breathing human beans.  For all I know, some of you might be aliens who find me an interesting specimen of the human race.  If so, I have one request of you aliens - don't stick the probe up my bum.  For the love of all that is holy.

So how goes it, my minions?  It's been, what? A month?  I apologize that I took so long off.  Though I know people who have taken longer leaves of absence.  But I can't leave you all alone, you sexy, sexy things.


Well, a new year is upon us, y'all.  Crazy, I know.  The earth didn't blow up.  The skies didn't fall.  I somehow managed to not gain twenty pounds eating cookies over break.  The Mayans have to be wrong.


So does anyone have any New Year's Resolutions?  I have 17, because A. I'm a huge over achiever and B. It's my 17th year on the planet, I might as well try to keep up 17 things for an entire year and see what happens.  Normally I can't finish anything.  I can never see anything through to completion, ever. It is a really bad habit, and I know everyone has their bad habits, but mine seem to be really bad for me as a human.  They might not be bad for you - maybe you'd benefit from taking up some of my bad habits - but on the whole, I need to change.  Why not change now, when everyone else is changing?  I realize that instituting a huge change in my life right after New Year's is cliche, but I can be cliche as I want to.


One of my resolutions is to write more, and to facilitate that, I am going to be doing BOW '12.  Where I blog once a week in 2012.  I realize that I missed the first week of 2012, but I will make up for that by posting twice this week.  Also, I was sick, so I get a pass.  Hey, it's my challenge, I can do whatever I want.  Don't look at me with those judging eyes you judger!


Well, I'm going to make like a shepard and flock off.


*drumroll*
The first Parting Joke of the Year.

Parting Joke:
Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?
A barber!

Love & Kisses,
Jen

In Which Jennelle Apologizes To The Three People Who Actually Read Her Blog.

So to you three, I thank you.
A lot has happened in the week+ that I haven't been around.

I've done this:
1. Got sick
2. Got well
3. Failed a History exam
4. Had to sit through a horrendous football game where Georgetown High School was creamed 24-7
5. Was horrendously cold at said football game
6. Watched my band director (mentioned before here and here and here, if not in excess, very briefly) groom my little brother into becoming a conductor.  Everyone in the band agrees that I do, in fact, have the coolest younger brother ever.
7. Got sick again
8. Ate a lot of food at Thanksgiving
9. Ate a shit ton of bread.  My cousin's girlfriend is in school to be a pastry chef type person, and she baked a billion loaves of bread and two cakes and a pie.  It's like she wants us all to be fat lards who have to roll everywhere.  But I still ate all of it.  Yum yum yum!
10. Worked on my articles for the Thought Report!  See, Lewis, I promise I'm doing them!

So yeah, that's what I've been doing.

What have you been up to, fooligans?

I'll give you a parting joke next week when I'm well enough to find one.

Love and kisses,

L.

A Realization In The Shower

And no, that wasn't a ploy to get you all to think of my washing my hair, but you are all now thinking of that, aren't you?  I am a diabolical mastermind.

Anyway, as I was realizing that one of my second toes is longer than my big toe, but the other one isn't, I had a realization.

Most of the people on YouTube are all Liberal Arts majors that have happened or are waiting to happen.  The makes me fear greatly for my job in the future, because I am in now way, shape, or form, as talented as them.

This makes me feel kind of insignificant.

Oh, the existential thoughts I think in the tub at 6:00 in the morning.

God, I hate talented people.

Ah, well, Tararara!

Love and kisses,

L.

The Most Pretentious Thing I Have Ever Seen, Ever

So (I always start my stories off with so.  Does anyone else do this?  Is it just me?  I need to end this habit.  No more so for me.  I need a better starting word.)

Lackaday (Nope, not working.  Say it with me kiddywinks - I am not a pretentious asshole, I am not a pretentious asshole, I am not a pretentious asshole.  Saying it three times makes it true.)

Anyway (No, L., ya moron, anyway is used when continuing a story.  And you want to be an author and/or teach English.  Shame shame shame on you!)

The craziest thing happened to me (Not only is that phrase not true, you again sound like a pretentious asshole.)

(Fuck it, I'm sticking with So)

So today I was at the library after school, which is where I usually am because A.  I love libraries, B. It is convenient because it is a three minute walk from my school to my town's library and C.  I'm just a nerd and I hang out at libraries.  DON'T YOU JUDGE ME, FERDINAND!  I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH THAT SWAN, YA FLOOZY!

Where was I?  Oh yes.

I was in the library and I was browsing through the classical music CDs because, again (as if it already hasn't been established by now), I'm a nerd.  As I was browsing through the CDs, I came across one with the title 'The Only Beethoven CD You Will Ever Need'.  And I thought that that was pretentious as fuck.

Am I weird to think that?

Yes?

No?

Does anyone else feel like that is just way off base?  Like what if I don't agree?  What then?  Do I complain?  Do I lie and hide my true feelings from the world?  What then, fooligans, what then?


So am I the only one?  Or am I not alone in thinking that there are probably other Beethoven CDs that one needs to purchase? 


Let me know what you think.  I need feedback on this.


Parting joke:

Snake 1:  Aw, shit, I hope I'm not poisonous!
Snake 2:  Well, why would you hope that?
Snake 3:  I just bit my tongue.


And on that note (haha, note.  This entire post has been about leaving notes in parentheses while trying to disguise itself as a post about a musician, where notes also apply.  I'm not funny at all, am I?)


I'm done.


Love and kisses,

L.

P.S.  I'm finally being challenged in school because I'm reading primary source documents from the fucking 1700s and all anyone in my family can do is laugh because they've all been waiting for this day.  Eagerly.  What a pack of rabid despair-mongers.  Not to say I don't love my family because I do.  But if there is one thing I can say about them, it is that they are absolutely mental.

And as for primary source documents from the 1700s... Well, if there is one thing I can say, it is that no one back then knew how to get to the fucking point.  Circumlocuting all over the place, these blokes were.  If there is one thing in the world that I can say about writers of any kind today, it is that they can at least get to the fucking point.  Maybe I'm not included in this, but whatever.  On the most part.  At least it isn't

BUT since the wise and righteous governor of the universe, has permitted our fellow men
to make us slaves, we bow in submission to him, and determine to behave in such a
manner, as that we may have reason to expect the divine approbation of, and assistance
in, our peaceable and lawful attempts to gain our freedom.
No copyright infringement intended.  Though I don't know if it is copyright.  Might be something else.

Anyway, I'm done.  That was my little rant on how I absolutely hate history.  WITH A PASSION, MIND YOU ALL.

I have to go kill myself now,

Love and kisses,

L.