Quote of the Week

Take a shower, shine your shoes/ You got no time to lose/ You are young men you must be living/ So go now you are forgiven.
-The General, Dispatch

Friday, April 22, 2011


How do I begin this amazing tale? Hmmm.

Okay I know. Look up Corey Seapy on Facebook. That kid right there, yeah, he's my band director. And when I say kid, I mean kid. He's 24. I know this because my friend Katherine is in love with him. Don't ask. That is one story not worth telling*.

So anyway, on with the tale.

Let me start out with a disclaimer - me and my friends are one hundred and seventeen percent completely mad. Out the wazoo with bonkerosity. Loonies on loon tablets. In a perpetual full moon. In dire need of a one-way ticket to an insane asylum. I could go on forever. Suffice it to say, we are utterly and thoroughly crazy. So when I finish this spiel, please for the love of pants don't judge me. It's all their fault. Honestly.

This whole joke started a couple of months ago, I think in January. In January, my friends Elliese, Katherine, Jess, and I were all in Physical Education. As you could probably guess, we never did anything in that class. Ever. We did have canoe races across the gym floor on our butts using badminton rackets as oars, but besides that, the only exercise we really did was laugh our frigging asses off over stuff I can't even remember.

Except Hey Ladies.

So how does the Sea Bass** tie into this sordid tale of me and my friends being totally nuts? I will tell you.

So I have this problem, yeah? I always say really inappropriate stuff in front of teachers without knowing that they are there. Like, really inappropro. One time I told my friend to kick all of the sixth graders in the ass as my History teacher walked by. I swear to Pete he laughed at me. Another time I quoted the "Tina, you fat lard, come get your dinner" line from Napoleon Dynamite in my best Napoleon voice on a stairwell outside of my Geometry class while my principal walked up the stairs. He just looked at me like "What kind of students do I have in my school?" and walked away without a word.

Seapy is no different.

You know the cartoon Spongebob? If so, proceed. If not, GET OUT FROM UNDER YOUR FRICKING ROCK!

Anyway, remember the episode about Manray? Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's sworn enemy? Well, the joke that Elliese started had something to do with that. Somehow, it got twisted into a sexual reference that we all were saying as 'manwood'. I know, not that funny. But here is where the funny part comes in. So my friend Katherine, mentioned above, has a huge crush on the Seapster, yeah? Like HA-YUGE! Gigando. Ginormous. Mammoth. She has told me things that she wants to do to that man that could put me in a mental ward for the rest of my natural life. I've told her multiple times that she has a running tab for my therapy bill. Back to the tale.

So Katherine is starting to say something about Seapy, and we're all laughing, and so I go "Katherine wants to stroke Seapy's manwood!" really exceptionally loudly and I don't realize that Seapy is walking right down the hall at us. Bad move. It's a curse, I swear to Blog. So Seapy looks at us, and I'm praying to all of the stars and boulevards in Heaven that he did not just hear me say that and he just goes, all calm like, "Hey ladies."

Now that doesn't seem too major, yeah? Well, the thing is, we were all trying not to laugh, and so when we rounded the corner, a huge cackle just burst out of me. And I laugh really loudly. Like it fucking echoed, man. And Seaps just turned and gave us a very weird look. It was awkward for us all.

He keeps walking, and Elliese looks at us and just goes "HEYYYYY LADDDIIIIIEEEESSS!" in a very over-exaggerated imitation of the Sea Bass. The rest is history. It's grown, so now it is a joke for the whole of my school band. Whenever you see someone in the band, you have to say "HEEYYYYY LADDDIEEESSS!!!" really obnoxiously and really loudly. And then everyone around you will join in. And since it's a small school and we have a really large school band, there is always someone from the band around you.

The kicker is that Seapy has heard everyone in the band go "HEEEYYYY LAAADDIIIIEEESSS!!!" more than once (try like one thousand times a person on our trip to Disney last week alone) and I don't think that he knows he started that.

He is a god among men, unaware of his own influence over the subculture of the student body.

Yeah, so I realize that was a really long, unnecessary post, but I feel like I needed to delve into the "HHHHEEEEYYY LAAADDDIIIEEEESSS!!!" back story since I did mention it and I feel weird mentioning inside jokes when none of the people who get them read this blog.
Anyway, hope you got a small chuckle out of that post. I'm going to go skin a squirrel and listen to punk music. Not really. I'm going to go watch Potter Puppet Pals and weep quietly to myself because no one thinks I'm funny except me and my pal Rocko. He's my pet Rock. I have no imagination.


Ramblemeister is being committed soon, so post your well wishes below.

Yeah yeah. I know.


*Katherine's tale about her love for Mr. Seapy coming soon. Joke.
**Sea Bass story also coming soon. Maybe joke.


  1. I never understood the whole HEEYYY LADIES thing with the band. but now that i somehow found this i completely understand.

  2. 6 Years later, i must ask.. How is rocko?


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