April 2: You Can Pick Your Nose...

*Here is a monologue that I wrote for Acting Class*

Every one's family is a little crazy.  That's the deal with families.  No matter what you do, they will always be there to drag you right back into their nut job world.

My family is your standard family.  Mum, dad, two brothers, me.  But then you add in the fact that my little brother spent a majority of his younger years pretending to be a cat, and now spends most of his time trying to create homemade rocket fuel.  He is going to blow up my house one day.  And throw in the fact that my older brother rarely eats carbohydrates because he is afraid of his body fat rising over a certain point, and how he tries to get rid of chocolate in my house because he wants to eat it but won't.

Or how my father decides that yanking me out from underneath my nice, warm covers by my ankles whilst singing the Hebrew alphabet at the top of his lungs is an acceptable way to wake up his teenage daughter on a Saturday.

The heart attack I suffered following that awakening topped all of the heart attack I suffer from living in my house.  Honestly, it was like that movie, Taken.  I thought that I was being abducted, and that I was going to die at the hands of some psychopathic Jewish school teacher. (I can say that, I'm Jewish.  Besides this is my crazy brain we're talking about here.)

But alas, no.  Just my dad being absolutely barking mad, as usual.  Then Joshua came in and jumped on my bed, and joined in the singing.  He sat on my stomach.  It hurt.  My mum and Jake were laughing their heads off.  At my pain.  What gives?

That's family for you.  You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can' t pick your family.

Even if I could, I'd pick them.

A Realization In The Shower

And no, that wasn't a ploy to get you all to think of my washing my hair, but you are all now thinking of that, aren't you?  I am a diabolical mastermind.

Anyway, as I was realizing that one of my second toes is longer than my big toe, but the other one isn't, I had a realization.

Most of the people on YouTube are all Liberal Arts majors that have happened or are waiting to happen.  The makes me fear greatly for my job in the future, because I am in now way, shape, or form, as talented as them.

This makes me feel kind of insignificant.

Oh, the existential thoughts I think in the tub at 6:00 in the morning.

God, I hate talented people.

Ah, well, Tararara!

Love and kisses,

L.

I Was Just Checking My Stats...

...And I decided, hey, for shits and giggles, I would look at my all time statistics.


I nearly fell out of my chair.


I don't know if the falling was out of shock, awe, or my general lack of being able to balance my body to the point where I flop about like a newborn and require someone or something to support my head at all times lest I cause some brain damage or something.


Anyway, guess which post has the most views of all time, at SEVEN FREAKING HUNDRED PAGE VIEWS???


The Top Ten Guys I Would Screw, No Questions Asked!

Is that all I am to you guys? Just a random top ten guys, who admittedly are hot, but is that all I am????

Tears.

Maybe it was the fact that I had so many pictures, and a ton of labels. Hmaybe.

Oh, and for those of you wondering, my next highest viewed post was Thoughts, which was a post literally dedicated to my obsession with one-liners.

It had 17 views.

HOLY MOTHER OF FREAKING PEARL, YOU GUYS!!!!!

Anyway, now that that is off my chest, I feel like to up my viewings, I should do another top ten list of guys.

Crazy thought, brain, what was that post that you were working on but have yet to finish because you are a lazy little buttmunch who decided to literally do nothing all day today?

Oh, yeah. My Favorite Celebrity Faces.

It's like my subconscious is trying to tell me something subconsciously you guys.

OOoooooOOOOoooooOOOOO. *to be said in a freaky voice OOOoooOOO*

I need to go to bed. My brain cannot handle life right now.

Goodbye cruel world. Sleep is the only solace for my solipsism. I highly doubt that last sentence made any sense.

Parting joke:

What's a shark's favorite drug?

Reefer!

I need psychiatric help.

Big, sopping wet kisses to all ya fooligans!

Nighty Night,

L.

It Is Hotter Than Satan's Butt Right Now!

And as it is such, I am too tired to finish the post I was working on.

I have work all this week and next week, so the blogging might be sparse. After, however, I'll be back.

Enjoy this picture of Matthew Lewis (AKA NEVILLE FREAKING LONGBOTTOM!!!

So um yeah. Not a great picture, but he looks like he has a pocket watch and holy JESUS NEVILLE GOT HOT!!!!

Seriously, new celebrity crush right here. Look at that delicious crooked smile. I want to eat him. So yeah.

Talk to ya later, ya fooligans!

L.