Life Is An STD That Is Always Fatal

Lovelypoos! I'm back!  I'm not dead!  I didn't fall off the face of the earth!  I wasn't eaten by rabid walruses!  I just had a really big history project due, and that took up all of my time.  It won't happen again.  Kidding, it probably will happen.  All the time.  So sorry about that.

I'm going to confess something to you all that I haven't actually confessed out loud, not even when I'm talking to myself.

Prepare yourselves for what may seem like deep-rooted self esteem issues mixed in with some adolescent hormonal moaning.  But don't worry; It's just sleep deprivation.

I'm afraid that I'm defective.  I know that that sounds awful and terrible, but I do.  I have two friends, yes?  I have them in most of my classes, and during PE we sit in the corner of the gymnasium on the mats and talk about stuff (yes, for all of you who are wondering, I'm passing this class with an A, thank you very much).  Mostly the stuff we talk about is boys, because we are girls. 

Now my two friends, both of them openly have crushes on boys, I guess is the way to put it.  Both of them have had multiple boyfriends and they both get boys to like them really easily.

Here is where I feel like I'm defective.  I can't get a guy to like me.  Like ever.  I've had a grand total of one boyfriend, and that was for fifteen minutes in the sixth grade.  I've never been kissed, and I doubt any self-respecting guy has even thought about kissing me, regardless of how horny he was.

And I don't feel a need to always like a guy.  I haven't 'had a crush' since sixth grade.  At least on anyone attainable.  I have 'idea crushes', as in, I love the idea of someone, like a celebrity.  Or I get really attached to a voice.  Or a character in a book.  But not on anyone real.  Does that make me defective?  Or weird?

I am kind of worried that I'm going to end up lonely and alone because I have trouble making connections with people.  I feel like people think that I'm aloof.  I guess sometimes I do act like that.  It's my own fault.  I act aloof and use caustic sarcasm as a way to hide the fact that I have no idea how to act and that I actually am quite shy.

People have said that one of my great qualities is no fear to talk to strangers and a vast knowledge that allows me to relate to anyone.  If only they knew.

Okay, so that was deeply personal, I'm so sorry that I just subjected you to that.

I love you all.  Seriously.

Parting joke:

Why did the dolphin commit suicide?

Because his life had no porpoise!

Love and kisses,

L.

I Was Just Checking My Stats...

...And I decided, hey, for shits and giggles, I would look at my all time statistics.


I nearly fell out of my chair.


I don't know if the falling was out of shock, awe, or my general lack of being able to balance my body to the point where I flop about like a newborn and require someone or something to support my head at all times lest I cause some brain damage or something.


Anyway, guess which post has the most views of all time, at SEVEN FREAKING HUNDRED PAGE VIEWS???


The Top Ten Guys I Would Screw, No Questions Asked!

Is that all I am to you guys? Just a random top ten guys, who admittedly are hot, but is that all I am????

Tears.

Maybe it was the fact that I had so many pictures, and a ton of labels. Hmaybe.

Oh, and for those of you wondering, my next highest viewed post was Thoughts, which was a post literally dedicated to my obsession with one-liners.

It had 17 views.

HOLY MOTHER OF FREAKING PEARL, YOU GUYS!!!!!

Anyway, now that that is off my chest, I feel like to up my viewings, I should do another top ten list of guys.

Crazy thought, brain, what was that post that you were working on but have yet to finish because you are a lazy little buttmunch who decided to literally do nothing all day today?

Oh, yeah. My Favorite Celebrity Faces.

It's like my subconscious is trying to tell me something subconsciously you guys.

OOoooooOOOOoooooOOOOO. *to be said in a freaky voice OOOoooOOO*

I need to go to bed. My brain cannot handle life right now.

Goodbye cruel world. Sleep is the only solace for my solipsism. I highly doubt that last sentence made any sense.

Parting joke:

What's a shark's favorite drug?

Reefer!

I need psychiatric help.

Big, sopping wet kisses to all ya fooligans!

Nighty Night,

L.