Quote of the Week

Take a shower, shine your shoes/ You got no time to lose/ You are young men you must be living/ So go now you are forgiven.
-The General, Dispatch

Monday, April 2, 2012

April 2: You Can Pick Your Nose...

*Here is a monologue that I wrote for Acting Class*

Every one's family is a little crazy.  That's the deal with families.  No matter what you do, they will always be there to drag you right back into their nut job world.

My family is your standard family.  Mum, dad, two brothers, me.  But then you add in the fact that my little brother spent a majority of his younger years pretending to be a cat, and now spends most of his time trying to create homemade rocket fuel.  He is going to blow up my house one day.  And throw in the fact that my older brother rarely eats carbohydrates because he is afraid of his body fat rising over a certain point, and how he tries to get rid of chocolate in my house because he wants to eat it but won't.

Or how my father decides that yanking me out from underneath my nice, warm covers by my ankles whilst singing the Hebrew alphabet at the top of his lungs is an acceptable way to wake up his teenage daughter on a Saturday.

The heart attack I suffered following that awakening topped all of the heart attack I suffer from living in my house.  Honestly, it was like that movie, Taken.  I thought that I was being abducted, and that I was going to die at the hands of some psychopathic Jewish school teacher. (I can say that, I'm Jewish.  Besides this is my crazy brain we're talking about here.)

But alas, no.  Just my dad being absolutely barking mad, as usual.  Then Joshua came in and jumped on my bed, and joined in the singing.  He sat on my stomach.  It hurt.  My mum and Jake were laughing their heads off.  At my pain.  What gives?

That's family for you.  You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can' t pick your family.

Even if I could, I'd pick them.

2 comments:

  1. Idk why, but when you said that bit about your dad's wake up call, I saw the trololo guy dragging you by the ankles.

    Also, I just noticed that little panel thing on the right with Regina Spektor's songs and OMG I LOVE HER TOO. I just felt the need to say that. I will go now.

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  2. hahahahahahahahaha love it

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