Welcome To My Insanity

Hello there lovelies,

I'm back.  Kind of.  We'll see how well I keep a schedule.  I am procrastinating doing my Spanish homework to type this, because I missed you all!  I read a bunch of your blogs while I wasn't writing, but I didn't have the time to sit down and really write for you, which is nice.  I miss writing.

The only thing I write nowadays are my to do lists.

And since I don't really have anything to write about today, but I wanted to write something, without further ado, here is a copied over version of my to do list from a few days ago.  Don't freak out.  And no, I haven't changed anything.  I'm copying it over exactly as it is.

1/30/13 TO DO TODAY

1.       APUSH HW

§  APT ch. 9 due Friday

Ø  Read it soon; just get it done

2.       Rough edit of "Waiting Room"

§  Get the rough edits in so that everyone can download it

Ø  Plus you need to get the basic lighting ideas & set design down so you can start work on it right away

3.       FIND A COFFEE TABLE!

4.       ASK SOME CREW GUYS FOR HELP! ASK THEM EARLY! AS IN SOON!

5.       Spanish wksht for Homework

§  Do it during rehearsal INSTEAD of going on Tumblr.  Think of how nice going to bed before 12 AM sounds.  Do it.  DO IT!

Ø  Seriously.  You are not your limbic system, and you can control your brain, it should not control you.

v  Write that shit on your wall.  That’s motivational!

6.       English Homework

§  Fireside Poets

Ø  Do @ home since you don’t actually have a book

Ø  Do your vocab as well, but @ the school

v  And before you go on Tumblr, think of how nice a 10 PM Bedtime sounds.

7.       Math Homework

§  pg 319-320

Ø  BLECH ASYMPTOTES

v  Try to finish @ school

8.       Study for Anatomy & Physiology

§  Test Friday

§  STUDY A LOT! Get a 100%!

Ø  You definitely need it to bring up your grade average!

9.       Sign up for SATS!

§  Figure out if there is a test after March.

Ø  If not, pray to all the gods in the world and universe that things work out okay.

10.   Remember to plan for work until approx. 8:30 tonight.

§  So dinner @ 9:00?

Ø  Yay.

v  Sarcasm

11.   Go through all of those college emails @ one point. (read: soon)

§  Start thinking of places to look and then give Mum and Dad a list of the places you’ve been looking at and the reasons behind each choice

Ø  With UChicago, you cannot say it is like Hogwarts

v  Or, you can.  You just shouldn’t.

12.   Bring a clip and real sneakers for gym tomorrow.

§  Because, you know. Gym.

Ø  Kill me.  With a heavy, blunt object.  Thanks.

13.   Find a container for your everyday thanks  papers.

§  And you know, actually keep writing them.

14.   Rip those 3 CDs and the Harry Potter Audio Books.

15.   Write down some ideas to start working on for next year's Drama Festival.

§  Make it AWESOME.

Ø  Fallen angel, Valentine’s story, Internet friends?

FIN

And here is my life.  This is why I am never writing blog posts.  Because I am worrying about all of this stuff.

Welp.  I have to go do Spanish homework.

Toodle pip.

Love and kisses,

Jen

It's Thanksgiving.

Here is what I am thankful for.  In no particular order.

(The important ones)
-My family
-My friends, near and far
-The fact that I have clothes on my back, food in my belly, and a warm bed to sleep in every night
-My education
-My job
-Opportunities that I have taken in the past that have led me to now
-Opportunities that I will be given in the future
-Great literature that inspires me
-Music, as it is the pulse of my life
-The fact that I am healthy
             -As healthy as I can be; I'm doing pretty well right now, for those of you who care.
-The memories that I have that will last me my lifetime
-Photographs
-My guardian angels, wherever they are, watching over me

(And now we get into the silly ones) (Which really aren't that silly, since I am thankful for them)
-The internet, as sadly it is my life
-Butts
-Chocolate
-Mashed Potatoes
-Ska music
-Hand warmers
-Aviator sunglasses
-Bandanas
-Comedians
-Accents
-Red lipstick
-Pocket watches
-Sexual innuendos
-Good waitresses
-Grilled cheese
-New York Cheesecake
-Moustaches
-Dinosaurs, because come on
-Cats
-Poprocks chocolate from Israel
-Bad jokes
-Puns
-Laughing until your stomach hurts
-Best friends
-Firefly (although I will never forgive Whedon for Wash)
-Inside jokes
-Ugly sweaters
-My pillow
-Doctor Who, Supernatural, and Sherlock (or Superwholock, for those in the know)
-Red high top Chuck Taylor All Stars
-My laptop
-Tumblr
-Blogger
-YouTube
-All of you <3

I am really thankful this year, you guys.  Really thankful.  I have a great life, and I think that I am just finally realizing how blessed I am.

Spread the joy!  A whole holiday about food!  My body is ready!

And if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, no worries.  Just feel extremely jealous about how almost all Americans tomorrow are gorging themselves silly, and have a Happy Thursday.

Love and kisses,

Jen

P.S. I have the best joke ever, but I am not going to tell you.  Not yet.

April 22: My Insecurities

I watched a video today, which I will post at the bottom, that made me really think about some stuff.  It was about insecurities and why they don't matter.  In fact, the title of the video was 'Insecurities and Why They Don't Matter'.  Pretty self explanatory, huh?

Anyways, I am... wait for it... extremely insecure.  Now, I know a lot of you must be thinking "Jennelle, insecure?  You are such a silly biscuit for even insinuating that claim!  Go into the corner and think about what you've just said!"  Before things get completely out of hand, let me explain.  I am insecure, and that's... well, that's basically it.  I've explained it.

I have some normal insecurities and some not so normal insecurities.  Want to hear them?

TOO BAD, YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR THEM ANYWAYS!!!  AHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

I'm an evil overlord at heart, let me just live out my delusions of grandeur alone with my cats.  Which would make me not alone, but whatever.

Here goes nothing.

My Insecurities

1. My teeth.  I've been self-conscious about my teeth for pretty much my entire existence on this planet.  They are really tiny, and I used to have really huge gaps in my top front teeth.  Braces fixed the top gaps, but I still have gaps in my bottom teeth.  Also, my canine teeth are really prominent and large in comparison to the rest of my teeth, so I look a bit like a vampire, or a werewolf, depending.

2. My weight.  I live in a very weight conscious family.  My older brother is so athletic, and his natural metabolism is so fast that he used to lose five pounds in his sleep. IN HIS SLEEP.  I can't lose five pounds even I diet for a month.  I gain weight just by looking at bread.  I've never really been 'overweight', but for someone who stand 5'1", if you weigh a normal weight it looks like you weigh a lot more, simply because there isn't as much body to distribute that weight to.  Now, a lot of my weight is muscle because I did karate for 12 years, but ever since I stopped I kind of lost a little muscle tone.  Swimsuit season, people.  I want to look good when I go to Israel! There are some hot guys going on my trip!

3.  My intellect.  I am going to try to explain this one without sounding pretentious, because talking about something like intelligence often has the capacity to stray into that area.  I am a know-it-all.  I'm that kid that loves to know that they are right.  I correct people when they say words wrong.  I'm that kid.  But the problem is that while I am intelligent, that intelligence doesn't spread evenly over all subject matter.  I'm very good at languages and history, and a little more than slightly less good at maths and science.  The problem with this completely normal problem is that I hold myself to such high standards that I simply cannot allow failure.  I got a C for the first time ever last quarter.  And believe me, I'm beating myself up more than anyone else is.

4. My nose.  I have been told multiple times by multiple people that my nose isn't big.  It just is big to me.  It's one of those things that I will never be okay with, simply because I can't do anything about it.  Before anyone tells me that I could get a nose job if I so chose, let me tell you how doctors perform rhinoplasties.  First, they have to break your nose and take out the excess cartilage.  Then they reshape the remaining cartilage by shaving it down.  Excuse me if I don't do that to my face.

5.  My fear that no one likes me.  I have friends, friends that would do anything for me.  But with acquaintances, I'm never really sure if they like me or just tolerate me.  Because by all accounts of humanity I can be annoying.  Sometimes I have to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself to stop being such a freak, because I wig out way too much.  I know that it is completely irrational for me to feel this way, but I still do.

I only want to list five because I don't want to bore you all.  But believe you me, there are more.

But that's okay.  It's okay to be insecure.  It's okay to feel awkward in your own skin.  Because the odds are everyone else feels the same way that you do about themselves.  So embrace your insecurities.  Tell them that it's okay.  Tell yourself that it is okay to feel the way you feel.

Then come find me and we can be insecure together.  We'll have a grand old time, I promise.

Here is the video.

Hope you enjoy it and I hope it makes you examine yourself for a second and then feel better about yourself as well.  That's what it did for me.

As always, love and kisses,

Jen

April 13: And May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor

Yeah, I saw The Hunger Games tonight.  In all honesty I thought it was a really good film.  The cinematography was really interesting and the music was awesome.  The characters were great.  I am totally Team Seneca Crane's Beard.  I also really liked how they had all of those scenes with the Gamemakers, because that is the bit that we don't see in the books, but now we got the chance to.  And that one bit at the end with Cato?  Holy shit, I was glued to my seat.  And when Rue died?  I've read the books (I read them years ago, when they first came out) and I knew it was coming, and it still managed to shock me.  I literally (and I'm using literally in the correct sense here, all you Grammar Fiends out there) cried a bucket of tears.  Maybe not a bucket.  But definitely a small glass.  It was bad.

I have to say, Jennifer Lawrence was awesome.  I saw her in Winter's Bone, which was another amazing film, and X-Men: First Class.  She got to kiss Michael Fassbender in X-Men, so I will forever be jealous of her.  Like seriously.  She got to kiss him.

She got to kiss him.  Holy Jesus.

Yeah, I'm jealous.  He's like, soooo hot.  And he's a really talented actor.  If you have no qualms about brutality and a little bit of full frontal, I recommend his film Hunger.  It was amazing.  Literally amazing.  I don't think I'd ever want to watch it again, but it was amazing.  And it is based on a true story.

But one of the biggest reasons I loved The Hunger Games?

Two words, my friends.

JOSH. HUTCHERSON.

Seriously. The biggest reason.

I mean, look at him!

He has such lovely eyes, all deep looking and shiz!

And for the love of all the gods, look at his jawline!

His face just like screams "LOVE ME LOVE ME!!!"

And look at his adorable smile!

Hot damn look at his eyebrow.  He has the Flynn Rider smolder going on.

I recommend going to see The Hunger Games for the above reason.  Just because.  I mean.  For the love of God.

I'm going to sound like such a Josh Hutcherson fangirl hipster right now, and I swear to God that this story is true.  I was looking through a bunch of old journals because I do that randomly.  Looking back into past Jennelle's psyche gives me a good glimpse into the mind of a clinically insane biscuit.  Plus it's a laugh.  Anyway, I was looking through an old journal and I found a list titled "Jennelle's Top Twenty List of Hot Guys, In No Particular Order"* and Josh Hutcherson was on there.  Keep in mind this is about five years ago, so I was about twelve.  I've been obsessed with Josh Hutcherson since Bridge to Terebithia.  So there, fangirl hipster right here!  At the very least, I have consistent taste.  Not just consistent taste, consistent good taste.

I'm done.

I swear.

And I mean, come on.  Not just anyone could pull this off and still look hot.

Okay now I'm done.  Just look at him though.  I just want him to be my friend.  Because he seems like a genuinely nice person.  I love it when that happens.  When people seem normal, even though they've been in movies forever (Little Manhattan, anyone?).  It's like, Hollywood hasn't destroyed you!

It makes me happy.

Now I'm done.

Love and kisses,

Jen

*I've been writing lists like that for years.  I still write lists like that.  I found a list titled Jennelle's List of Things That She Needs From Market Basket.  Not only do I write grocery lists, I also inexplicably talk in the third person when writing lists.  To each their own, Jennelle supposes.

Jennelle laughs.

Jennelle is insane, and she is saying goodnight.  NIGHTY NIGHTY!!!