It Is Continued...? (Only On Alternate Tuesdays, Though)

Yes it is. I am obsessed with a few things at the moment, actually. Firstly, however:




Gabi: It is your face. How did you know?




Eeshie: Eat some brownies, it will all be over soon :)



PeaceLoveAndSharpies: I CAN'T WAIT EITHER!!!! I'm SOOO excited!!!!! I LOVE ALL OF THEM!!!! Dear Maria was the first song I heard and after that I was hooked!



Anywho, I bet you are all on the edges of your seats, biting your fingernails and crying with anticipation, so here goes it.



Obsession #1: The phrase 'Shit just got real'. This may seem inconsequential, but it really isn't. I almost got in trouble for saying it right next to my principal. Thank God he is so oblivious he didn't even hear me. So, trouble averted, right? Wrong. I accidentally said it to my English teacher, but that didn't get me ground into a fine white powder. My English teacher is the man and he just laughed. So now that I've bored you to tears...




Obsession #2: These mango-cream popsicles minus the sticks from Trader Joe's. Holy Jesus are they delicious. They have cream and mango and no messy stick in the way and are all around deliciously delicious things.



Obsession #3: LIFEGOESON by Noah and the Whale. Listen to it, and I dare you not to sing along and get it stuck in your head for days on end. I DARE YOU!!! I DARE ALL OF YOU!!!!



Obsession #4: The weather where I live right now. It's freaky-deaky wackadoo up here in New England, folks. We had a tornado warning today (technically yesterday because I am lazy and didn't finish this when the tornado occurred. And it did occur. And it killed four people). A tornado warning. And there actually WAS a tornado. It touched down in a town very far from where I live, and it was very exciting for my little bro, who wants to be a storm chaser. When he heard that there was a tornado warning, he got so excited he almost peed himself. I'm not joking.



Obsession #5: This website. Get ready to get a hell of a lot better at insulting people, you infectious, unchin-snouted codpiece! (Brownies to whoever can tell me what an unchin is? Is it when people have really weak chins that shouldn't be considered chins, more like a neck tumor that never quite metastasized? Tell me if I'm right! And I will make you a brownie! For realz, yo.)



Obsession #6: The Yiddish language. I'm teaching myself Yiddish as just a shits and giggles kind of thing, but with deeper psychological reasons that I will have you all wondering about. I just love this language. It's literally six languages in one. It's got a little bit of everything. And I can guarantee that every single one of you uses Yiddish words every day. Examples: klutz - Yiddish; bagel - Yiddish; beatnik - partially Yiddish; schlep - Yiddish; schmuck - so Yiddish it hurts. See where I'm going? Besides, now I can call people mamzer, miskayt, arumloyfer, khazer, dumkopf, eyzel, and Ekeldikerparshoyn. Those are just some of my favorites. Mamzer means bastard. Teheheheeeee.



Obsession #7: This cocoa butter oil that I just bought. It smells really good, sort of like vanilla, and I use it in lieu of lotion. It makes me feel supermegafoxyawesomehot. And it smells like vanilla!



Obsession #8: Divergent, by Veronica Roth. I just finished reading it today, and honestly I'm stoked for her to write a sequel. It is a dystopian future novel and it's really good.





Obsession #9: Bo Burnham. I know, I know, y'all already know that I love Bo Burnham. But I found this one video of him. It's amazing... watch it. I laughed so hard. Honestly, he is one of the best comedians of my generation (even if he is about five years older than me, he is still in my generation. I can proudly say I was born before the iPod. And HD. And DVDs. Holy shit, I feel old.) and his career is so promising. He really reminds me of Demetri Martin. They both use a kind of humor called paraprosdokians. Here is a link to the wiki page, I don't feel like going into obsessive detail. (Haha, obsessive. This is ironic, because this whole post is about my current obsessions. Teheee) Basically, a paraprosdokian is the kind of sentence where you think it is going one way, but then at the end, something is said that changes the whole meaning of the sentence. Example - "I believe in the Zodiac. I'm a Leo; I love Titanic. There's something a little bit morbidly ironic, see my grandmother was a cancer, and she was actually killed by a giant crab." Weren't expecting that, were you? That's a paraprosdokian. But seriously, look up Demetri Martin. He's quietly hilarious. Seriously.




Obsession #10: I thought I'd end on an even number, due to my fear of odd numbers, which is known as Fear of Odd Numbers, which isn't cool or anything, but it does bring me to my final obsession. The names of fears. Example - Long Words; hippomonstrososesquipedaliaphobia. Palindromes; aibohphobia. Beards; pogonophobia. Peanut Butter Sticking To The Roof Of Your Mouth; arachibutyrophobia. Garlic; alliumphobia. Dancing; chorophobia. Walloons; walloonphobia. Just one question - What is a walloon?




So yeah, there are my obsession as of late. I hope that it was as disappointing as it should have been. I wish that I had cool obsessions but I don't. I get obsessed with mango popsicles and the names of fears. I don't know what an unchin or a walloon is. But I am still obsessed with them. What are you all obsessed with? Tell me! I vant to know!!!!



Parting joke:

"This summer I was at a pool party and I learned that there is a very small but very important difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool. LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION."

-Demetri Martin.


I have to go, but I love you all. Big sopping kisses to everyone!

Why My Little Brother Is Going Places

Hello there world!

This is the Ramblemeister, and while I love talking about all things random and irrelevant, today I'm avoiding that and introducing you to a very special person in my life. Drum roll please. *dununununununununuununnunununununnnn TADA! My little brother. Let's call him Rambles Jr. So I am seven and one half years Rambles Jr. elder, which means that I sometimes feel like his second mom. I changed his diapers as a baby. I am entitled to feel like that. It was disgusting. However, since I am not his mother, I can annoy him to no end, throw him in pools, etc. And no one can call child services because it is just sibling love. Hee hee. Anyway, Rambles Jr. is such an awesome kid. He's only in second grade, and he is the funniest person I know, only he doesn't know it. He is obsessed with the weather, and he wants to be a tornado chaser as an adult. He makes stop motion Lego movies. He can name every type of fire truck. He laughs like a drain, and always makes you want to laugh with him. Suffice it to say, I love my little brother so much. And to tie this is to the title, here I go. I'm headed off to Florida for a school trip in a few days, so I'm warning you I won't be writing for about a week, starting Wednesday. Anywho, Rambles Jr. is obsessed with the possibility of a thunderstorm down in Florida, so he keeps coming in my room and discussing "intercepting plans" with me. Just another reason why he is awesome. He's not even eight, and he's saying stuff like intercepting. BUT, all this interrupting is causing me to have trouble packing. So finally, I say to him (I really did say this, and this is our conversation verbatim) "Rambles Jr. (minus that bit, I really said his name, but for purposes of Internet safety, I'm refraining. I don't want creepy stalkers trying to find him. Or me.), can't you see I'm trying to pack?" RJ: "Yeah, but this is important!" Me: "So is me having clothes down in Disney." RJ: "But there could be tornadoes! We need to plan our interception!" Me: "Rambles Jr., I'm busy. And besides, there won't be any tornadoes!" RJ: "But all of the ingredients are adding up." Then I told him to get out and I laughed like a loon on loon tablets. Welcome to my world. Have a rambly day! The Ramblemeister