Grammar is one of the most important things in the English language. I could argue about grammar all day. Here is some vitally important grammar in action.
The Oxford Comma
The Oxford Comma is the difference between:
I had a party and I invited the strippers, Hitler, and Stalin.
OR
I had a party and I invited the strippers, Hitler and Stalin.
I'm sure that two evil dictators would make fine strippers. Anyone want a lap dance?
Comma Usage in General
A well placed comma is the difference between:
Let's eat, Grandma!
And
Let's eat Grandma!
Grammar. Saving grandmothers from cannibalism one comma at a time.
Capitilization and Commas
I helped my uncle, Jack, off a horse.
I helped my uncle jack off a horse.
In one instance you are helping a relative off of an equine. In the next, you are helping said relative masturbate said equine.
Like I said: Grammar is important!
That last one was golden. Should almost be made to be illegal, reading something of such mirth so early of a morning.
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard when I read this post I think I ruptured something. Thanks a lot. I better go drag myself to the hospital.
ReplyDeleteWho gives a fuck about an Oxford Comma? I've seen those English dramas too! They're true!
The fact that you quoted Vampire Weekend makes me very happy. Yes, I know I'm three months late. But still, it counts.
DeleteI kind of love this
ReplyDeleteso true
ReplyDelete:D I adored this.
ReplyDeleteExcept I'm fairly sure that that isn't what the Oxford comma is. It's when you put a comma before the last 'and' in a list.
(I like apples, bananas, and grapes. vs. I like apples, bananas and grapes.)
They mean the same thing.
Sorry for being a grammar tyrant.
I LIKED THE LAST ONE SO MUCH.