Quote of the Week

Take a shower, shine your shoes/ You got no time to lose/ You are young men you must be living/ So go now you are forgiven.
-The General, Dispatch

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Grammar Is Important

Grammar is one of the most important things in the English language. I could argue about grammar all day.  Here is some vitally important grammar in action.

The Oxford Comma
The Oxford Comma is the difference between:
I had a party and I invited the strippers, Hitler, and Stalin.
I had a party and I invited the strippers, Hitler and Stalin.
I'm sure that two evil dictators would make fine strippers.  Anyone want a lap dance?

Comma Usage in General
A well placed comma is the difference between:
Let's eat, Grandma!
Let's eat Grandma!
Grammar.  Saving grandmothers from cannibalism one comma at a time.

Capitilization and Commas
I helped my uncle, Jack, off a horse.
I helped my uncle jack off a horse.
In one instance you are helping a relative off of an equine.  In the next, you are helping said relative masturbate said equine.

Like I said: Grammar is important!


  1. That last one was golden. Should almost be made to be illegal, reading something of such mirth so early of a morning.

  2. I laughed so hard when I read this post I think I ruptured something. Thanks a lot. I better go drag myself to the hospital.

    Who gives a fuck about an Oxford Comma? I've seen those English dramas too! They're true!

    1. The fact that you quoted Vampire Weekend makes me very happy. Yes, I know I'm three months late. But still, it counts.

  3. :D I adored this.
    Except I'm fairly sure that that isn't what the Oxford comma is. It's when you put a comma before the last 'and' in a list.
    (I like apples, bananas, and grapes. vs. I like apples, bananas and grapes.)
    They mean the same thing.
    Sorry for being a grammar tyrant.



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