Quote of the Week

Take a shower, shine your shoes/ You got no time to lose/ You are young men you must be living/ So go now you are forgiven.
-The General, Dispatch

Monday, November 14, 2011

Things That I Find Funny That Wouldn't Be Funny To Most People

Hey There Fooligans
(Okay confession - when I wrote that, I read it in my head in the voice of Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales, because when my little brother was little, he watched all of these videos about a superhero named Larry Boy, and when Larry Boy would approach someone on the street, he would greet them by saying 'Hey There Citizen'.  And I just tried to find a video on YouTube.  I'M NUTS!)

I find it hilariously, ironically funny that people who watch the show Glee and call themselves Gleeks are, in fact, calling them the little bit of spit that flies out of your mouth sometimes involuntarily.  YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.  And don't deny it.  You've all done it.  Don't look at me with those shifty eyes!

I find it funny that in Massachusetts, or at least around where I live (just north of Boston), that is perfectly acceptable to say very mean sarcastic things to people.  And the funny thing is that everyone around you is probably thinking the same thing.  Case in point - I was out with my mum the other day, and we were walking across the street and a car was coming very fast towards us, so my mother shouts (or, more accurately, says loudly.  She didn't shout.) at the car "Okay, buddy, go a little faster, that's totally cool." And the three or so people who were crossing the street with all kind of went "I was just thinking that" out loud.  Only in Massachusetts.

(I know that what my mother said wasn't very mean, but it was very sarcastic.  Mainly, I was trying to show the same-mindedness of all of us Massholes.)

I can't wait to go to college and go to a place where it is not socially acceptable to be very openly, cruelly sarcastic.  I will end up being the person who says that mean thing and have everyone be completely horrified.  "But you were all thinking it!" will probably end up being my excuse, and all of my future friends (soon to be alienated future friends) will look at me in shock and horror and in unison will all say "NO WE WEREN'T!"  And it will be glorious.  And I will have no friends.  Just like now.


I will never be socially acceptable.

I think I just have to accept that fact.

I find it funny that it's 12:23 AM.  As in THE MORNING!  And I still have piles of homework.  Hooray.  I had a FOUR DAY weekend.  And I waited until Monday-Freaking-Morning to do it.  Winning over here, guys.  Just mountains of winning.  Mountains and mountains of it.

I have left the valley of the eternally screwed and entered the mountains of the royally, winningly, FUCKED.



  1. I had a pancake for breakfast. It was delicious. That is all.


    Plus I love being drily sarcastic as well. I've been told often I have a real deadpan, dry delivery and sense of homour. Which basically translates to me being multiple magnitudes of awesome.

    How are your articles coming along?


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