Quote of the Week

Take a shower, shine your shoes/ You got no time to lose/ You are young men you must be living/ So go now you are forgiven.
-The General, Dispatch

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Back In The Day, Which Was A Wednesday, By The By

Anyway, today in Biology, instead of correcting a worksheet like I was supposed to be doing, I was reminiscing with my friend Alli.
Alli is hard to describe. Take everything that you have ever thought, but never said because it was too offensive, add a heaping dollop of hormones, sex jokes, and humor, and you have Alli. She's a silly bitch.
Which is a compliment, when coming from me.
Anyway, Alli is a very good friend of mine, because not only is she my music mamacita (her words, not mine) she is also the only person, THE ONLY PERSON, I have met in the past seven years who has seen the Disney Channel movie Stepsister From Planet Weird. I do not kid. The only one.
For those of you who haven't seen this movie, here is a link to the synopsis. It is an awesome movie. Truthfully. I'm not going to go and spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it, but it really was one of my favorite movies when I was little.
Okay, am I the only one who thinks that any Disney Channel movie that came out after around 2006 sucked the balls of a herpes ridden dwarf? Honestly, these movies were hit with the sucks-major-balls stick so hard by God they nearly died before they ever hit the television. I will make a case saying that all of the good Disney Channel movies came out before 2006 and I will kill all of you who oppose me with a giant dildo made of stone hewn from a cliffside in Ireland by mutant leprechauns of death. You do not want this. I am skilled in the art of dildo assassination.
I will also make a case saying that cool ranch Doritos are the best kind of Doritos, and that the burger flavor was a terrible idea that should have been killed by the sucks-major-balls stick. Slowly. And then it should have been raped with the stone dildo.
So yeah. I reminisced today. And it was awesome. I miss being able to watch a quality movie on Disney Channel. I also miss the theme song. "Let's watch, a Disney Channel movie!" How can you forget that? It's like the Zoom theme song. No matter how hard you try, it will never leave your brain. The tune has become permanently etched in your cerebellum. Yay hooray.
Well, tomorrow is Friday the 13th, and I'm planning on not dying. So have a great weekend if I don't see you before then!
Parting joke:
A little girl is playing in the garden and accidentally gets a thorn in her hand. She runs into the house and says to her mum "Can I have a glass of cider?" Her mum asks "What for?" The little girl says "Everytime my sister gets a prick in her hand she says she has to get it in cider."
L. out, bitches!

1 comment:

Hey ya goon! If you liked it, tell me so!