Quote of the Week

Take a shower, shine your shoes/ You got no time to lose/ You are young men you must be living/ So go now you are forgiven.
-The General, Dispatch

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Happy New Year, Fooligans! Sorry About the Absence; I Was Dancing With Lemurs In Madagascar

I wasn't really dancing with lemurs in Madagascar.  I was just being a lazy thing that is very lazy and not communicating with all y'all!  But have no fear, I am back in this new year and I am funnier than ever!

Well.  The funnier than ever comment might be subjective, because of course I think that I'm hilarious, being a narcissistic non-midget with an ego bigger than the entirety of Canada.  The rest of you might just find me a sad example on what happens to people when they spend too much time playing Words With Friends and not enough time interacting with leaving, breathing human beans.  For all I know, some of you might be aliens who find me an interesting specimen of the human race.  If so, I have one request of you aliens - don't stick the probe up my bum.  For the love of all that is holy.

So how goes it, my minions?  It's been, what? A month?  I apologize that I took so long off.  Though I know people who have taken longer leaves of absence.  But I can't leave you all alone, you sexy, sexy things.

Well, a new year is upon us, y'all.  Crazy, I know.  The earth didn't blow up.  The skies didn't fall.  I somehow managed to not gain twenty pounds eating cookies over break.  The Mayans have to be wrong.

So does anyone have any New Year's Resolutions?  I have 17, because A. I'm a huge over achiever and B. It's my 17th year on the planet, I might as well try to keep up 17 things for an entire year and see what happens.  Normally I can't finish anything.  I can never see anything through to completion, ever. It is a really bad habit, and I know everyone has their bad habits, but mine seem to be really bad for me as a human.  They might not be bad for you - maybe you'd benefit from taking up some of my bad habits - but on the whole, I need to change.  Why not change now, when everyone else is changing?  I realize that instituting a huge change in my life right after New Year's is cliche, but I can be cliche as I want to.

One of my resolutions is to write more, and to facilitate that, I am going to be doing BOW '12.  Where I blog once a week in 2012.  I realize that I missed the first week of 2012, but I will make up for that by posting twice this week.  Also, I was sick, so I get a pass.  Hey, it's my challenge, I can do whatever I want.  Don't look at me with those judging eyes you judger!

Well, I'm going to make like a shepard and flock off.

The first Parting Joke of the Year.

Parting Joke:
Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?
A barber!

Love & Kisses,


  1. You're alive! :D
    17 new year's resolutions is a lot :o
    I have one that kind of just happened, which is reading 100 books. I'm on track for now :D

  2. Good to see you back on the blogosphere. If someone else tells you they created the term, they're LIARS and thus should not be believed because they LIED.

    Hope you had a good Chrissy and New Years break, and all the best for the year to come :D

    Gowdspe3d, yo.


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