I wasn't really dancing with lemurs in Madagascar. I was just being a lazy thing that is very lazy and not communicating with all y'all! But have no fear, I am back in this new year and I am funnier than ever!
Well. The funnier than ever comment might be subjective, because of course I think that I'm hilarious, being a narcissistic non-midget with an ego bigger than the entirety of Canada. The rest of you might just find me a sad example on what happens to people when they spend too much time playing Words With Friends and not enough time interacting with leaving, breathing human beans. For all I know, some of you might be aliens who find me an interesting specimen of the human race. If so, I have one request of you aliens - don't stick the probe up my bum. For the love of all that is holy.
So how goes it, my minions? It's been, what? A month? I apologize that I took so long off. Though I know people who have taken longer leaves of absence. But I can't leave you all alone, you sexy, sexy things.
Well, a new year is upon us, y'all. Crazy, I know. The earth didn't blow up. The skies didn't fall. I somehow managed to not gain twenty pounds eating cookies over break. The Mayans have to be wrong.
So does anyone have any New Year's Resolutions? I have 17, because A. I'm a huge over achiever and B. It's my 17th year on the planet, I might as well try to keep up 17 things for an entire year and see what happens. Normally I can't finish anything. I can never see anything through to completion, ever. It is a really bad habit, and I know everyone has their bad habits, but mine seem to be really bad for me as a human. They might not be bad for you - maybe you'd benefit from taking up some of my bad habits - but on the whole, I need to change. Why not change now, when everyone else is changing? I realize that instituting a huge change in my life right after New Year's is cliche, but I can be cliche as I want to.
One of my resolutions is to write more, and to facilitate that, I am going to be doing BOW '12. Where I blog once a week in 2012. I realize that I missed the first week of 2012, but I will make up for that by posting twice this week. Also, I was sick, so I get a pass. Hey, it's my challenge, I can do whatever I want. Don't look at me with those judging eyes you judger!
Well, I'm going to make like a shepard and flock off.
The first Parting Joke of the Year.
Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?
Love & Kisses,