Quote of the Week

Take a shower, shine your shoes/ You got no time to lose/ You are young men you must be living/ So go now you are forgiven.
-The General, Dispatch

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Did you get a haircut? No I got all of them cut, dipwad.

And I did. I got all of my hairs cut a lot.

My John Green-esque poof is gone!

Speaking of the Vlogbrothers, guess what this kid found in CVS the other day?

Singamajigs. That's right. I'm that cool.

So I'm in Driver's Ed all week, and it literally may be the longest week of my life. It seems to be shaping up that way. I've been spending a lot of my 8 hours there writing character profiles and trying to ignore the very odd sounding air conditioning directly to my left.

I feel really weird at driver's ed. Not just because I don't know anyone, which I don't, because I'm a stupid idiot and I didn't sign up with anyone, but also because I...um...have never driven a car before. The last time I was behind the wheel of something with a motor, I was 12, and it was a go-cart, and I crashed said go-cart through the tractor tire barrier and got stuck in a mud pit. The people who owned the go-cart track just left me there. I was stranded in the Mud Sea until one of them took pity on me and helped me get out.

So I think that puts my driving experience at a steady zero.

I'm so screwed. And it isn't like I can get my permit yet anyway. I have to wait until I'm sixteen, and I'm not sixteen yet, contrary to popular belief.

It's the hair. People just think that I'm older.

Which I am not.

I didn't really have anything to write about today, but I felt like I needed to write something because I'm so weird like that. As if forcing myself to write will make whatever I do write funny and hilarious and interesting enough to captivate a reader for the whole blog post. If you read this sentence, write "you are a gormless son of a billy goat" in the comments to let me know you all love me despite my faults.

I have to go clean my room and start packing.

For what? You all ask. Are you leaving to go away on a fabulous trip?

No. No I am not. I'm going somewhere with my cousins.

Where, you ask.

Well, I say, I'm going to ................


To be continued...

Sorry for all of the unnecessary drama, I'm a silly banana.

Parting joke:

What did the pirate say about the steering wheel attached to his groin?

Arg, it's driving me nuts!

Love and kisses,



  1. I love you so much. This post was awesome, (as if that needed to be said.)

    Driver's Ed was most probably the single worst experience of my entire life. Of course, I grew a lot. It's also where I wrote Lorenze and the Talking Goldfish. I was laughing so hard that I actually suffered a minor heart-attack when I wrote it, but my zombie lady teacher didn't even blink.

    I wouldn't worry about driving. Just keep it slow and remember to wear clothes at all times, because people CAN see you. You'll get used to it. That is, unless you don't. In which case you can always hire Morgan Freeman to drive you around to Piggly Wiggly and Church and whatnot.


  2. You are a gormless son of a billy goat! lol

  3. I actually laughed at the pirate joke (=


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